I eat soap

Tapeworms WISH they had me

[seiya @seiyaposting]

At what point do you not just kill yourself

[Wally P. McSniff @WallaceMcSniff]

No no no no no no this can’t be happening

[Pierre L’Fauex @LFauexProd]

White people be like I called the city and they said there's nothing they can do for the squirrel

[Alexa ♡ @malleuses]

how much of a gluttonous beast do u have to be to honk in a drive thru

[Baby Woo 👼🏾💱 @RaySacii1]

@crackcobain__ They in the bunker putting that nigga back together like Optimus Prime

[Shoobz @shOoObz]

This is what twitter is about 💕

[Florida woman @stephanicci]

Squidward would taste so good cooked in oil and breaded fuck

[I eat soap @RogueTitty]

The thought of any elected official starting a press release with “okay so I just did a thing…” shut UPPPP

[I eat soap @RogueTitty]

The first millennial president is already pissing me off and they ain’t even here yet

[bald ann dowd @ali_sivi]

yes girl just aim that wet cough wherever!

[Jill Gutowitz @jillboard]

why is a fly landing on you so embarrassing. like ok, i’m poo……

[halsey @halsey]

I keep your lights on for years and this is the thanks I get?

[Titus Ulthar @hereliesthighs]

Your son sacrificed his life for this country during Operation Fortnite Chungus. Thank you, epic style.

[Conor Rogers @conorjrogers]

*stepping into a street battle in a cartel civil war*

"Excuse me, I am Platinum Elite, 1000 lifetime nights"

[sam parker @samprkr]

capitol HILL <3

[🐙hala @haloulus]

Ramadan is cool because even the least religious person you know would be fasting

[I eat soap @RogueTitty]

Meek mill look like he supposed to been one of them fish in shark tale

[Vrundaa @Vrundaaa1]

Turning an age when your mom had you is kinda diabolical socially

[Hollywood Deals @LocalDingus]

Republicans: inbred Gestapo can kill you now

Dems: uhhh so THAT just ruined brunch.

Timbaland: I’ve uploaded Aaliyah’s consciousness into the power grid and made her Korean