Roller Man

M30 18+ I like cute things, I also like horror. creative writing minor, hope to make space for all to express various media - anime/vtubers ftw - Gravemind 😍

[Roller Man @RollerManLook]

I’ve decided, the Gravemind is my new oshi

[Roller Man @RollerManLook]

Mfw antidepressants completely eradicated the constant uneasiness my stomach felt thus eradicating the stimuli that would often lead me to stress-eat as up to this point that was the only thing that would’ve made it feel better and now I’ve lost 35 pounds and am returning to a healthy body weight for my height.

I’m so light now, my leg muscles try to account for weight that’s no longer there and I overextend myself from time to time walking.

[Chaleko @Chalek0]

24 - Doctor/Nurse

I miss HOLOGTA

#FWMCpix #HOLOctober

[Roller Man @RollerManLook]

Wait,?5 those are so cool what the hell? Centipede were once my guilty crush as a teen, now grown, miku Teto be my guilty crush. Two birds in one stone baby~!

[toxy (C0MMISSIONS OPEN) @acet0xy]

"What was your biggest impact on the internet?"

My centipede Miku and spider Teto

[Roller Man @RollerManLook]

…okay yeah I love writing haha

[Roller Man @RollerManLook]

…
In other news, tonight’s troll death in the flame war; is brought to you by three individuals.
Our Magician, a literal Doctor.
The Archer, myself (not getting close to troll, they have a poisonous effect you know?)
And The Tank, a very passionate college student!(?)

Together this party of three witnessed the entrance of the troll onto the archer’s territory (my post lol) and at once each dove into action, independently sidestepping each attack made by the troll and dealing a crushing blow to the troll’s constitution.

But trolls never die easy, their life, a constant pain they wish to inflict on others, acts often as if they don’t feel pain and this fortitude has taken down many an adventurer and innocent unready for its numbing self identification. Their weakness? Why their icy heart of course~! The vitality of a troll is dependent heavily on the coldness and frozen shell that protects their most vital organ. Should this case be breached, the troll shall surely die.

Our heroes worked tirelessly, and as the fighting went on, they began to depend on one another heavily. The Magician worked to clear the toxic effects caused by the troll’s presence (debunking their misinformation) meanwhile our passionate Tank would dive headfirst into battle, holding the line and keeping its attention. (Replying in anger, challenging the troll bullshit with righteous fury, never allowing the troll a moment of peace, keeping his attention here where he battles foes who are able to fight back) and the Archer would take a clinical approach to striking the troll. He trusted the aggression of his Tank, he trusted in the cleansing magic of his Magician, the Archer knew not to be afraid and believe in his training. (scientific fact would puncture any of the lies and misinformation)

When, after many arrows, spells, and sword swipes, the archer saw a weakness. The icy heart was visible, and as the troll expended itself throughout the battle, raising its own temperature, its heart was melting. One good hit would take it down. So the Archer shoots. One. Good. Hit.
(I crack a joke, breaking the tension/hostility? The troll/hater ‘liked’ my post and hasn’t removed it so far)

A direct hit, the troll is invulnerable no more. It enters its death throes , blindly, foolishly lashing out one final time but with a complete lack of strength it once had. (Troll ran out of bullshit misinformation, his last reply had only one buzzword in it compared to like, the seven he would add early on in this exchange) it cries out to its own kind but fails to realize trolls only imitate the care of a community but would feel no remorse for cannibalizing each other once hunger rears its head with no innocents in sight.

The troll falls and, it lies still. Forever. The heroes stand, battle worn, but victorious. They survey the battlefield, witnessing the damage and events leading to this moment. (Follow the feed all the way down to the last reply)
Magician moves on to her next station, while Tank drops and takes a hearty rest~ Archer goes to recover his arrows.

He stands by the troll, pulling the arrow out and feels saddened. For the heart of a troll, was once human. Deformed by pain and manipulated by dark seers and snaked tongued rouges, the birth of a troll is unnatural. Twisted into a monstrous form and released onto the land, abandoned, forgotten. The former human turned beast knows only hunger and hostility, lashing out at any who interacts with it.

Gazing upon the human heart, the Archer wonders; Could a troll ever return to being human? Is death its only release? If there was a way, would the Archer take it?

Yes. He thought. Despite the pain, Archer found that even a violent troll needs to be saved.

The end.

[Roller Man @RollerManLook]

@Valnost2002 @sunsequel2 No Chris, you wouldn’t. Death is permanent.

[Roller Man @RollerManLook]

Aw damn it. Fr. Damn it , frustrating.

No yeah, sadly the anti-anime media sentiment is still alive in my household. Obviously it’s not as bad as before but still here, showing itself in an otherwise sweet moment, a time to be vulnerable with a relative.

I’ve been sharing to them how battles have gone in the flame wars, defending the dignity of those suffering from depression, and my relative opened up to me. They started sharing some music they liked, asking my thoughts, reading lyrics together, bringing up their own difficulties in expressing their emotions but that the lyrics of these songs expresses how they feel etc. having some emotional bonding.

So I figured, hey, they’re taking a risk being vulnerable with me, maybe I should reciprocate? Share myself, my interests too. So, an easy video for them I felt and somewhat popular rn, Birdbrain! By Kasane Teto. Certainly timely, they already knew about fortnight after all~!

The words are in English, closed captioning enabled so they could follow along, some background and themes the song explores, genuinely catchy, what a beat you know? Somewhat depression-coded, am I worth something? Can I survive despite not being equipped for life? I am a Birdbrain but I am still here— type sh*t. I felt it was a suitable choice, and I’d be right beside them to help explain it.

…………………………………………,………………..we get one minute, thirty something seconds into the video, me pointing out how genuinely intelligent the lyrics are, how birdbrain Teto is feeling, feelings of insignificance, overwhelmed, outcasted, etc. things some of his songs delved into, and how Teto is singing about the same things but trying her best……,,,,,,…………. Yeah f*ck he asked me to turn it off. F*ck, yeah, I was stunned for a moment. We get to do your sh*tvbut not mine huh?

Easy to understand song too, a gateway song even, delving into Japanese media even if by the animation style. I don’t know how I could have made it easier.

I sit through another one of their songs and feelings before making my exit. Like, wtf, this wasn’t, like a Hololive, or ussewa ado song, it wasn’t a bleach op song, or heaven forbid lucky star, or k-on!, or even the big ol lovelive music scenes, nothing about idol culture, just a good standalone song by Teto completely in English.

…god, I’m thirty and just now trying to indulge in media I enjoy openly in my own home. How come I can’t share it with my loved one???? >*}\}{~^^*+sorry f*ckingvtesring right now, tears .)

I’m glad I’m no longer keeping this sh*t bottled up but I’m just trying to become more of myself you know? I want to stop pretending I’m somebody else. This is what I like~ ……………

Frustrating.

[Roller Man @RollerManLook]

I’m so glad you’re here man, I’m happy I’m able to meet you. Driving vehicles with depression is terrifying.

*my experience, might be triggering, warning*

Just earlier this year actually, before I got on meds and was trying to “tough it out” the urge to speed and run straight into a tree, concrete barrier, or heaven forbid, another moving vehicle, was so overwhelming I—!!! I pulled over to a gas station. I had to. Then I called my clinics crisis line and bawled like a baby. I cannot fully explain the feeling of sitting in a gas station parking lot in the dark at 11pm wanting to kill myself. I was supposed to be in bed, sleeping but–! I think I waited for it to pass, I trusted in my sense of self preservation that it would pass. It did. I made it home. Sadly I “toughed it out” few a few months more but today I’m receiving meds for my depression.

You’re not alone my friend, none of us are. I hate the post this all originated from but I do not regret meeting all of these beautiful souls. I’m rooting for us.

[Roller Man @RollerManLook]

If it’s in a capsule, lean forward while you drink water.
If it’s dry pills, lean back while you drink water.
These help the medication go down easier.

[Roller Man @RollerManLook]

Oh sh*t, gotta take my antidepressants, almost forgot lol #advocate

[Roller Man @RollerManLook]

Oh sh*t, gotta take my antidepressants, almost forgot lol #advocate

[Roller Man @RollerManLook]

It helped kill the troll, it did fall soon after the big joke landed..

[Roller Man @RollerManLook]

@St0ner_Barbieee @cherryvanillatw @sunsequel2 Humor is how we’ll win, 🏆

[Roller Man @RollerManLook]

I could make this my new pfp but I’ve really gotten attached to this silly sad low quality Teto Pear 🍐

[Roller Man @RollerManLook]

“Omg guys this is my oc, plz no stealing, thanks~”
I remember trying my hand at generating an image, and this looked nice enough but the Jason Voorhees mask was a little overbearing ha.

[Roller Man @RollerManLook]

It’s been three hours.. guys I think I killed a troll in the flame war. Bled him dry and wore him down over time like our persistence hunter ancestors of the past.

Don’t fuck with depression. Don’t discredit antidepressants.
Trolls die when I show up.

[Roller Man @RollerManLook]

Aww man, did the guy accusing me of being a bot delete his feed? Fuh there were so many funny jokes and posts on that comment !!! I wanted to go revisit for the lolz

[Roller Man @RollerManLook]

@PowerDontShower “Good evening Power-Sama.. I’m.. resting. From the flame war, you see? It still burns bright. I didn’t know where else to go. I.. return to battle soon.”

[Roller Man @RollerManLook]

@kathy73761 @Bottlekapsh @BigthinkerBig @JoshuaStewtauh @sunsequel2 Whoa, I’ve just seen this feed for the first time. Yeah it’s good to stay away from this one.

[Roller Man @RollerManLook]

@BigthinkerBig @kathy73761 @Ph4nt0m_RM Big thinker, please. I want to help you.
Let it go.

[Roller Man @RollerManLook]

@BigthinkerBig @kathy73761 @Ph4nt0m_RM Why are you distressed when a nobody, a complete stranger, me, offers you concern?

[Roller Man @RollerManLook]

@BigthinkerBig @kathy73761 @Ph4nt0m_RM When did you lose the ability to play with others?