Cllr Ron Robertson

Interim Leader of Coatbridge Burgh Council. Husband to Lena, father to Tarquin and Clarice. Amateur escapologist and yodeller.

[STV News @STVNews]

Armed police descended on a Megabus after a passenger attempted to board with a weapon.
https://t.co/SVErJfO5o7

[Cllr Ron Robertson @RonCllr]

I’m breaking my Twitter silence just to say that if @BorisJohnson becomes PM again I pledge to publicly shave my pubes outside No. 10 and put them into a congratulations cake for him.

[Cllr Ron Robertson @RonCllr]

I have an EpiPen. My friend gave me it when he was dying, it seemed quite important to him. RIP Maximilian.

[Cllr Ron Robertson @RonCllr]

Maybe it was all those strawberries and cream at Wimbers yesterday. Well done Novak by the way!

I officially applied the race to be the new Tory leader/PM.

Apparently you have to be a Tory or at least not have called Bojo a lying scumbag 20 times a week since he got the job.

[Cllr Ron Robertson @RonCllr]

To whoever stole my Microsoft Office I will find you, you have my word!

[Cllr Ron Robertson @RonCllr]

Ok I’ll take the blame for arranging the gala rail outing for today. How was I to know of the strike?

Anyway the underprivileged kids had a great 4 hours playing eye spy on the platform. How we laughed when someone said train!

[Cllr Ron Robertson @RonCllr]

Just found out that I’ve been banned from Russia by Vlad.

I’ll now have to shelve plans to buy that holiday home in Vladivostok.

[Cllr Ron Robertson @RonCllr]

Right that’s me back from my months post-election holiday. I didn’t want to buy was persuaded that the good citizens of Coatbridge needed me well rested.

[Cllr Ron Robertson @RonCllr]

I hear that @rihanna has a new boyfriend from Airdrie.

Yes, she found love in a soapless place🧼

[Star Trek on Paramount+ @StarTrekOnPPlus]

Roll call! Here's a flashback to Captain Pike's introduction in #StarTrekDiscovery Season 2! Reply to this with your name, and in return you’ll get your rank and assignment on the Enterprise. HIT IT 👉

[Cllr Ron Robertson @RonCllr]

With the polls closed I can reveal that I’ve been re-elected and shall run Coatbridge Burgh Council with a rod of iron as befits the Iron Burgh!

Only joking I’m off to Fiji for a wee rest after a strenuous campaign. You don’t get 97.5% of the popular vote without working hard!

[Cllr Ron Robertson @RonCllr]

@CllrBattley Well worth the reported £50k a year to have a council funded photographer follow you everywhere!

[Cllr Ron Robertson @RonCllr]

@elonmusk And you managed to upset both and the middle too.

[Cllr Ron Robertson @RonCllr]

@CllrBattley At least the Lamas stayed. The other animals were understandably skittish and ran off when he told them of their impending doom.

[Cllr Ron Robertson @RonCllr]

So sad to confirm that it appears our councils bid for @Twitter has been gazumped by @elonmusk

We offered Coatdyke and $12.23 which I had left from my last holiday in Miami but it just wasn’t enough.

[Cllr Ron Robertson @RonCllr]

@CllrBattley

[Cllr Ron Robertson @RonCllr]

Sorry folks I’ve been somewhat quiet of late. I was overseeing the finishing off of my official residence in Drumpellier.

I realise knocking down 10 houses for the land caused some irritation and the 2.3m cost overrun but I did it for you!

I halved the pool size to save cash.

[Parody Ken Clarke @MrKennethClarke]

BREAKING: Ukraine names street after Boris Johnson.

[Cllr Ron Robertson @RonCllr]

@CllrBattley Rabbit pie anyone?

[Cllr Ron Robertson @RonCllr]

@CllrBattley Sounds good to me, I’ve booked my Mother in law in for a week!