Ronan Fitzsimons

Writer | Linguist | Musician

[Ronan Fitzsimons @RonanFitzWriter]

@bettyredondo The love child of Howard Jones and your man Gary Windass from Corrie

[Ronan Fitzsimons @RonanFitzWriter]

@dradny Good to see you back, mate. I was baffled by what appeared to have happened to your previous account. Hope you’re well

[Ronan Fitzsimons @RonanFitzWriter]

@RoryWaterman Just a renowned poet piloting a ‘Boing’ 747.

[Ronan Fitzsimons @RonanFitzWriter]

@JuanLuisBradley Congrats, doc! So chuffed for you - as they say, the tassel is worth the hassle. ¡Ahora, a festejarlo!

[Ronan Fitzsimons @RonanFitzWriter]

@RoryWaterman @TrentUni Really chuffed for you, Rory - well done!

[Ronan Fitzsimons @RonanFitzWriter]

@FanExperienceCo Great work and fantastic results, Mark - congrats to you, the family and the team 🍾

[Ronan Fitzsimons @RonanFitzWriter]

@alphadecayed Felicidades - habéis fichado a una verdadera estrella, y esta novela es una perla.

[Ronan Fitzsimons @RonanFitzWriter]

It’s very difficult these days to find a Franciscan monk under 6’5” in height.

It’s a tall order.

[Ronan Fitzsimons @RonanFitzWriter]

Just spent an enjoyable weekend filming a batch of interviews with Olga from the mighty @TheToyDolls. Great fun.

[Ronan Fitzsimons @RonanFitzWriter]

God bless the twice-yearly #authorroyaltiesday. Today I can afford not only a coffee but a muffin, too. Continued thanks to my various publishers, but more importantly to my loyal readership (aka Auntie Sinéad).

[Ronan Fitzsimons @RonanFitzWriter]

@MumblinDeafRo Brimful of dashing…

[Ronan Fitzsimons @RonanFitzWriter]

I’ve suffered with vertigo for a long time now. The other day it got so bad that I decided to buy some medication on Amazon. At the checkout I was asked if I wanted to use my balance. Insensitive bastards.

[Ronan Fitzsimons @RonanFitzWriter]

@ChrisReynolds68 Excellent piece, mate - engaging and user-friendly as ever. Your students have always been lucky to have you as a knowledgeable and approachable expert and communicator.

(On a lighter note, I’ll spare you the “I see @PaulHeatonSolo has diversified” gags…)

[Ronan Fitzsimons @RonanFitzWriter]

We had a flood in our basement this morning. The only good thing was that I was able to flog the resultant liquid to Superdrug as My Cellar Water.

[Ronan Fitzsimons @RonanFitzWriter]

I walked to the ring road yesterday morning carrying a whip. I set off early as I wanted to beat the traffic.

[Ronan Fitzsimons @RonanFitzWriter]

@haveigotnews That should drum up some sales

[Ronan Fitzsimons @RonanFitzWriter]

Huge indignation and anger are anticipated at the announcement that American bands are now required to declare how they will travel to their next gig.

Sparks will fly.

[Ronan Fitzsimons @RonanFitzWriter]

Hats off to the Dutch Olympic team selectors for ensuring that every single athlete they’ve chosen (at least according to the back of their shirts) is called Ned. This makes life immeasurably easier for commentators. A simple act of courtesy goes a long way.

[Ronan Fitzsimons @RonanFitzWriter]

@mrdanwalker They’ve been rasher than some of the other teams.