Rippin Ronnie

Eliciting eye-rolls since day 1

[Rippin Ronnie @RonnieRippin]

True friendship is sending each other memes while pooping, when the other is in the room next to you.

[Rippin Ronnie @RonnieRippin]

People be like OMG THE WEATHER IS SO NICE. Then drive from their house to the office with their windows up.

[Rippin Ronnie @RonnieRippin]

Jake Gyllenhaall is the dark John Krasinski. I said what I said.

[Rippin Ronnie @RonnieRippin]

The masculine urge to suck your fart up when vacuuming

[Rippin Ronnie @RonnieRippin]

If you ever feel bad about choices you’ve made, just remember there are still people choosing to get tribal tattoos.

[Rippin Ronnie @RonnieRippin]

“Let’s make the rear wiper blade impossible to replace!”

- The engineer that should’ve never been hired

[Rippin Ronnie @RonnieRippin]

Me: Damn these headphones don’t get any louder?

Me in 20 years: …what?

[Rippin Ronnie @RonnieRippin]

Tight kinda body that's shaped like a spaceship
My side shawty ass shaking like it's anxious
@calscruby

[Rippin Ronnie @RonnieRippin]

Why do all US Airforce veterans all drive Honda CRVs

[Rippin Ronnie @RonnieRippin]

Political parties are the worst parties I’ve ever been to. There ain’t even alcohol

[Rippin Ronnie @RonnieRippin]

Girls be arching their backs for the illusion of a butt. That arch going somewhere honey. Front looking like a 2nd trimester.

[Rippin Ronnie @RonnieRippin]

I come to social media to combat depression, not encourage it. #morememeslessnews

[Rippin Ronnie @RonnieRippin]

Does a blackhole open when a Karen asks for the manager and the manager’s name is Karen?

[Rippin Ronnie @RonnieRippin]

Back in the day when you were traveling and had to shit, you just pulled over and found a tree. Public watery diarrhea. Wild times.

[Rippin Ronnie @RonnieRippin]

Am I supposed to put Head & Shoulders on my shoulders too? Have I been doing it wrong for decades? Are my shoulders missing sheen and volume?

[Rippin Ronnie @RonnieRippin]

I’m a slut for positive reenforcement and acknowledgment.

[Rippin Ronnie @RonnieRippin]

How is a 4K TV going to be clearer than my actual eyesight

[Rippin Ronnie @RonnieRippin]

People talk a lot of shit about cargo shorts but when you can’t carry all your Beanie Babies with you, we’ll see who has the last laugh.

[Rippin Ronnie @RonnieRippin]

Y’all trying to cancel the wrong Joe

[Rippin Ronnie @RonnieRippin]

It’s always when I go to screenshot something, that someone sends me the most out-of-pocket text.