Rory Panagotopulos

Like I've always said, I will never join Twitter.

[Rory Panagotopulos @RoryPan]

@CraigRowin It took me a year to find something truly important to say. 🙏

[Rory Panagotopulos @RoryPan]

Voicemail from a banana I bought 2 days ago: "Hey, it's me, I just wanted to let you know that I am completely rotten now. Also, when you do the thing where you pretend bananas are phones, that's offensive. We use regular telephones. K bye." 🙄

[Rory Panagotopulos @RoryPan]

@CraigRowin @Gabrus Have faith my friend. One day our mothers will come to their senses, and let us see it. 🤞🙏

[Rory Panagotopulos @RoryPan]

Overheard in Central Park, epicenter of the NYC anarchy zone, "Oh my gosh! The whales were amaaaaazing this summer!"

[Rory Panagotopulos @RoryPan]

THICC cucumber.

[Rory Panagotopulos @RoryPan]

Been an absolutely EPIC month.

[Rory Panagotopulos @RoryPan]

Pig=Capitalism
Homer=Neo-liberals
Bart=Pandemic

[Rory Panagotopulos @RoryPan]

@fishermatt Looks more like Sir Elton is driving to the hole for a lay up.

[Rory Panagotopulos @RoryPan]

@dynamoe @ashleyjward Somehow the original post has gotten funnier.

[Rory Panagotopulos @RoryPan]

It might be a good time to consider changing Presidents' Day to Three Equal Branches of Government Day. Hooray Checks! Huzzah Balances!

[Rory Panagotopulos @RoryPan]

Epitaph: THIS FEELS REALLY PREMIUM.

[Rory Panagotopulos @RoryPan]

Big news this morning: I saw a man wearing a Number 7 train baseball cap while riding the Number 1 train. Only. In. New. York. Ba. By.

[Rory Panagotopulos @RoryPan]

Middle aged white dudes also love cool James.

[Rory Panagotopulos @RoryPan]

The farts...they're coming from INSIDE the butt.

[Rory Panagotopulos @RoryPan]

Y'all don't even remember what Windows '95 smelled like.

[Rory Panagotopulos @RoryPan]

@GGARLOCK I mean that first Batali 7" is cvlt, but you just can't keep supporting these people.

[Rory Panagotopulos @RoryPan]

That #GoT petition is stupid, because this is literally the only possible ending that would have satisfied all viewers.

[Rory Panagotopulos @RoryPan]

Told ya.

[Rory Panagotopulos @RoryPan]

Uhhhhhhhh spoilers!

[Rory Panagotopulos @RoryPan]

Uhhhhhhhh spoilers!

[Rory Panagotopulos @RoryPan]

The planet Neptune is home to the solar system's only known baseball field.