Roxy Shabestari

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a young lady in possession of no children must be in want of a micro mini pig.

[Roxy Shabestari @RoxyShabestari]

Quarantine is like college. My clothes are in little piles everywhere, my mom keeps calling to make sure I’m still alive, and I’m hoping I’m not 20 pounds heavier when it’s over.

[Roxy Shabestari @RoxyShabestari]

Somebody please explain to me why every restaurant in Scottsdale has a tv. How do you expect me to spend more than two $$ on a birthday dinner when the table next to me is publicly shouting at an inanimate object across the room

[Roxy Shabestari @RoxyShabestari]

I never injure myself more than when I’m sleeping and now I understand that old people are always tired bc after a certain point every roll over in your sleep just becomes a negotiation with your body about which position is going to leave the least amount of hurt in the morning

[Roxy Shabestari @RoxyShabestari]

If anyone needs me I’ll be obsessively checking real estate in Canada - from the diary of a future Handmaid #AbortionIsHealthcare

[Roxy Shabestari @RoxyShabestari]

@kjerstiofficial This is a completely acceptable and chic look. I want to know what the people that tuck their tops into their bottoms are doing

[Roxy Shabestari @RoxyShabestari]

If you tuck your shirt in while you exercise…will you also please explain yourself?

[Roxy Shabestari @RoxyShabestari]

@kjerstiofficial You have me who inconsistently logs in but loves seeing your thoughts whenever I do. Also, fuck the future employers and lovers. They need to earn the privilege of sharing your thoughts. Until then, keep the mystery

[Roxy Shabestari @RoxyShabestari]

It is October 1st…amok amok amok!

[Roxy Shabestari @RoxyShabestari]

I really thought TikTok would be the end of us. But. Is it going to save us? Remember when TikTok brought that Trump rally to its knees?

[NPR @NPR]

TikTok users are spamming a site set up to receive reports of potential violations to Texas' new abortion law.

One user created an iOS shortcut that automatically fills out false reports — and even adds local zip codes.

Others have taken a simpler approach: spamming with memes.

[Roxy Shabestari @RoxyShabestari]

You know those two people that party hard and burn bright and are the life of the party until they’re not and it turns toxic? Their names are Coffee and My Anxiety.

[mark anthony benson. @mark_a_benson]

Suicide prevention number 1-800-273-8255... life is really a fragile thing...

[Roxy Shabestari @RoxyShabestari]

Biden came ready to fuck, not fuck around. @POTUS already rejoined the Paris Climate Agreement, lifted the Muslim Ban, stopped construction on the wall, and mandated masks on federal property. I’m going to have the best sleep I’ve had in 4+ yrs tonight 😴

[Roxy Shabestari @RoxyShabestari]

Anyone else feel like the new year actually begins on January 20th and that January 1st was just a soft opening? #2021

[Roxy Shabestari @RoxyShabestari]

Everyone: Nevada...are you still coming?

Nevada: Who all is over there?

[Roxy Shabestari @RoxyShabestari]

@kjerstiofficial @grant_oc Yessssss amazing! Lil did right by you guys 😉

[Roxy Shabestari @RoxyShabestari]

@kjerstiofficial @grant_oc and I were talking about this film just a few days ago 🧙🏼‍♀️

[Roxy Shabestari @RoxyShabestari]

Pomegranate tastes best when someone else has done the work of meticulously deseeding it.

[Daniel Willis @DanLWillis]

Still feeling like we’re living through the prologue of our own extinction

[Roxy Shabestari @RoxyShabestari]

I keep seeing Kyle Rittenhouse referred to as a “vigilante.” This is dangerous. Vigilantes in pop culture are looked up to. Superheros are essentially vigilantes. Kyle Rittenhouse is a teenage white supremacist with an illegal gun. Rethink your headlines.

[Trevor Noah @Trevornoah]

We’ve seen this in South Africa before. Beware of agitators and instigators who use legitimate protests to ignite chaos between protestors and police.

[Roxy Shabestari @RoxyShabestari]

I miss museums today.