Royal Fetus

I live inside a princess.

[Royal Fetus @RoyalFetus]

In lieu of gifts, pay your taxes.

[Royal Fetus @RoyalFetus]

I have a strong notion that Kris Jenner will show up in my delivery room and that there's just nothing anyone will be able to do about it.

[Royal Fetus @RoyalFetus]

At this point I'd prefer it if mum put me in a basket and floated me down the Thames to be found/raised by a friendly shephard. #MosesOption

[Royal Fetus @RoyalFetus]

Even I'm getting sick of hearing about me.

[Royal Fetus @RoyalFetus]

Hey journalists! Here's the first real royal baby fact: I am white! VERY white. Almost translucent. #scoop

[Royal Fetus @RoyalFetus]

If you're waiting for my dad to dangle me over the balcony with a blanket on my head, you're going to be disappointed.

[Royal Fetus @RoyalFetus]

@brokenbottleboy babies can't tweet. Dont be ridiculous.

[Royal Fetus @RoyalFetus]

@brokenbottleboy object permanence is not one of the job requirements, apparently.

[Royal Fetus @RoyalFetus]

Oh God I just did it, didn't I? Oh God I'm so sorry.

[Royal Fetus @RoyalFetus]

I'm really worried I'm going to somehow accidentally mention the Jill Dando thing. #awkward #birthjitters

[Royal Fetus @RoyalFetus]

@clairenoble2323 you'll probably want to pick a new birthday actually. In fact, that's my first act as baby. Your birthday is now tomorrow.

[Royal Fetus @RoyalFetus]

As long as I've got you here, I'll introduce @annev6, the creative force behind me. Follow her! She isn't supposed to be tweeting at work!!

[Royal Fetus @RoyalFetus]

Is @andersoncooper outside or is it mostly just bloggers? The answer to that question will affect my sense of urgency.

[Royal Fetus @RoyalFetus]

Wait. Are all of you just staring at a building right now? Goodness. Go have a sandwich or something. This takes a minute.

[Royal Fetus @RoyalFetus]

This is getting serious now. I'd better get my hat.

[Royal Fetus @RoyalFetus]

Is there myrrh? I refuse to come out until there's myrrh.

[Royal Fetus @RoyalFetus]

Yes I will have a hot towel please, thank you.

[Royal Fetus @RoyalFetus]

TANTRUM. I AM HAVING A TANTRUM. Oh. There's the cheese knife.

[Royal Fetus @RoyalFetus]

Oh. A pre-birth gift basket has just arrived in here for me. Chocolates, cheeses and champers. How lovely. WAIT, NO CHEESE KNIFE?

[Royal Fetus @RoyalFetus]

Wait. Am I spelling this correctly? Is it #birth or #boerth?