I WAS ONCE ADDICTED. I BROKE LOOSE.
READ ME!!!
PORNOGRAPHY. MASTURBATION.
TWO WEREYS!
ANYONE FIT FALL BACK INTO THIS ADDICTION. I DEY YARN FROM EXPERIENCE.
WHEN SHADOWS WEY WE DEY HIDE BEGIN TO TALK: LEAVE "EBONY" ALONE.
My dear padis,
and yes, you wey don promise yourself 'never again' a hundred times come sit with me. Let’s sit inside this quiet place where truth no dey shout, and where shame no get any power, and where we can finally talk like human beings wey dey both break and heal at the same time.
Because this matter, e get as e be.
And because you deserve clarity.
And because silence don punish too many people.
And maybe just maybe because your favourite preacher, influencer, or polished professional don fight their own private battles… and win small, lose small… just like you.
THE DRAGON WE REFUSE TO NAME
Pornography. Masturbation.
Two words wey people dey whisper as if saying them out loud go summon thunder. And yet, these things dey sit inside homes with the boldness of daytime sun and dey hide inside the human heart with the stealth of a night thief.
Make we talk am as e be:
Many people dey struggle. Men. Women. The ones wey wear clergy collars, and the ones wey wear designer suits, and the ones wey act like their halos dey glued to their heads.
Prayer alone no dey break this chain, because addiction no dey fear volume, it dey fear strategy.
E dey thrive for secrecy, darkness dey feed it, and silence dey nurture it.
Women don begin struggle this thing pass before because shame no dey choose gender.
After the act, guilt dey always sit like uninvited visitor wey refuse to commot.
You go feel helpless like your body and brain dey follow script wey you no write.
But help dey. Real help. Better help. Make we learn how to tame this dragon slowly, deliberately, and with compassion.
THE SCIENCE WE NO FIT IGNORE
This thing no be just 'willpower matter.' No be just 'devil dey do somebody.' No be just 'flesh is weak.'
It is your limbic system, that emotional, pleasure-seeking part of your brain wey don build a road.
A road you don walk so often say the grasses don disappear and the path don turn expressway.
Addiction no dey come overnight.
Na small-small, step by stytep, dopamine by dopamine. The brain begins to demand more… and more… and more.
Some people even believe say spiritual forces dey inside the matter. And while science fit explain the brain part, spiritual people fit explain the unseen part and sometimes, truth dey somewhere in the middle.
And you are free to agree or disagree because healing no need uniform.
But hear me: compulsive masturbation and porn can affect your mind, body, relationships, confidence, and your sense of self.
And if e dey disrupt your work, your studies, your peace, your relationships… then e don pass normal.
But still… you fit heal.
THE PATH TO FREEDOM...GENTLE AND PRACTICAL
Because freedom no sabi shout.
Freedom na small steps wey gather. And hope na something wey fit return like sunrise.
Here’s how to walk this road:
• Recognise your triggers. both the ones wey dey your phone and the ones wey dey your heart.
Stress, loneliness, boredom, heartbreak. Even social media wey you dey scroll 'innocently.'
• Go off social media for a while.
You no fit dey near fire and complain of heat.
• Find an accountability partner.
But not the type you report to after the act. Report before the urge grows teeth.
• Therapy helps. Addictions Recovery Clinic dey do good work.
• Marriage no be cure.
Addiction no dey fear wedding ring.
• Set boundaries. No be everything your eyes must see after 8pm.
And sometimes, that warm bath wey you dey take when stress choke you… hmm… e dey open certain doors.
• Set small goals. 1 week, then 1 month. Celebrate small wins.
• You fit fall again. But you must stand... Jide! Again and again.
• No overconfident yourself.
This dragon dey humble people.
• Pastors, imams, church workers, mosque workers, many dey struggle too. No open your secret to people wey no fit carry it with tenderness.
• For Christians: Stay ascended.
Pray. Speak in tongues. Keep your spiritual life awake.
But remember, prayer without action na like fetching water with basket. You go still find yourself repeating the same cycle in a few hours.
AND NOW, A WORD TO YOUR HEART
My dear, listen. You no be your addiction. You no be your last mistake. You no be your secret battles.
Shame dey whisper say you dey alone, but shame dey lie.
Healing dey whisper too, but healing dey whisper softly.
And one day, you go look back and realise say the dragon no get the size wey fear paint am. You go realise say your body no betray you; it was simply trying to soothe itself the only way it knew.
And you go walk out of this darkness, slowly, intentionally, and with hope wey refuses to die.
You deserve healing. And you fit heal. And you will heal.