Rude Santa

Fucking Ho Ho Ho

[Rude Santa @RudeSanta]

Elves woke me up saying 'it's Xmas eve, you've overslept!' Nearly gave me a heart attack! 'April Fool' they laughed. Bunch of little cunts.

[Rude Santa @RudeSanta]

Right... Fuck you cunts and see you next December!!!

[Rude Santa @RudeSanta]

I've got a massive Stilton

[Rude Santa @RudeSanta]

Mrs Brown is shit, just an old fat man dressed up in silly clothes

[Rude Santa @RudeSanta]

@realDonaldTrump @chucktodd what with?

[Rude Santa @RudeSanta]

@Lord_Sugar what the fuck is sorosis? A fruit?

[Rude Santa @RudeSanta]

Right, now to shag Mrs Claus, an elf and Blitzen #orgy

[Rude Santa @RudeSanta]

I hate Mince Fucking Pies!!!!!!!

[Rude Santa @RudeSanta]

Bollocks to this

[Rude Santa @RudeSanta]

I'm cunting knackered and full of fucking mince pies!

[Rude Santa @RudeSanta]

Look out below Rudolph has got the shits!

[Rude Santa @RudeSanta]

The weather is fucking awful!

[Rude Santa @RudeSanta]

For fuckssake! I've dropped some pressies!

[Rude Santa @RudeSanta]

My bloody busiest day of the year and I've got a hangover #ffs

[Viz Comic @vizcomic]

Bono's Nativity Set https://t.co/yGCIgOFDtM

[Rude Santa @RudeSanta]

.@realinfostormer you're a nazi cunt, no pressies for you this Xmas

[Rude Santa @RudeSanta]

Who wants me to empty my sack into their gaping hearth?

[Rude Santa @RudeSanta]

At least no elves died today

[Rude Santa @RudeSanta]

@KirstieMAllsopp especially me #FFS I hate the run up to Xmas

[Rude Santa @RudeSanta]

Fuck me! Quick get those pigs in blankets! https://t.co/pw7LJZX9mg

[TIME @TIME]

Truck carrying nearly 3,000 piglets overturns on North Carolina highway https://t.co/QBOY22qJNw