Rufus King

[Rufus King @Rufus_King]

@jeffreypaggi could've been the log lady damn.

[Rufus King @Rufus_King]

@jimmyfallon Fallon, the more you recycle jokes, the more you reverse the climate crisis. You've gone green with your schtick, you hero you

[Rufus King @Rufus_King]

Why are all my twitter friends girls who ask me to check out their bikini pictures

[Rufus King @Rufus_King]

When I die... will my beard have a skull?

[Rufus King @Rufus_King]

My beards shadow just scared me

[Rufus King @Rufus_King]

My beard has outgrown me.

[Rufus King @Rufus_King]

I was fairly certain she was a she last night. But this morning I woke up cuddling an old janitor's mop. Call me master splinter.

[Rufus King @Rufus_King]

I can't find money, power, or respect on craigslist anywhere

[Rufus King @Rufus_King]

I wish my rotary phone was mobile

[Rufus King @Rufus_King]

if you follow me on twitter, you're promoting homelessness. If you send me money or pie, you are supporting my homelessness.

[Rufus King @Rufus_King]

I'm tweeting topless, but only because I'm using my shirt as pants.

[Rufus King @Rufus_King]

that underscore in my twitter name is my bed.

[Rufus King @Rufus_King]

If I weren't a bum I'd probably be the next best thing: Jimmy Fallon

[Rufus King @Rufus_King]

@jimmyfallon wow Fallon did something funny.

[Rufus King @Rufus_King]

@coolmgmvegas Wait, vegas is a real place?

[Rufus King @Rufus_King]

@TakeThePowerBak thirty five I'd prefer you not use the word bummin, don't be a rude strangr I've been displaced since I was 19. do the math

[Rufus King @Rufus_King]

Rufus King
1974-

[Rufus King @Rufus_King]

how come there aren't more bums on twitter?

[Rufus King @Rufus_King]

walking wise, how far is vegas from NYC?

[Rufus King @Rufus_King]

dinner: piece of tuna on corner of soggy rye. I think the yellow on it was cheese. I love NYC. what a feast. streets are beat so now I tweet