Erik

Documenting truisms as I experience them over the last 20 yrs. This is an abbreviated version of Runge's Life Laws, all 1,500+ of them...tweeted. #listenlonger

[Erik @RungeLifeLaws]

@elonmusk I don't know why anyone should believe this liar. Plus, anyone who votes yes will get banned.

[Erik @RungeLifeLaws]

Hey @elonmusk:
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Erik @RungeLifeLaws]

@dj_doughy Ahha finally. I told you Twitter was a stupid fad. Only took you 15 years to figure out.

[Erik @RungeLifeLaws]

So disappointed in the student section. They're running the Wabash, and the band playing for everyone else. It's a stupid thing to chant anyways.
#KStateFB

[Erik @RungeLifeLaws]

Having a blast and looking forward to the game!
#KStateFB

[Erik @RungeLifeLaws]

@churchoflazlo #LifeLaw 1194.  "If there is an animal coming at you and it is 2 feet tall or higher, you gotta fight it with your fists.  It’s not gonna fight fair, and neither should you.  You gotta punch it in its face. "  -@lazlothebuzz

[Erik @RungeLifeLaws]

@addicted2helmet I think this is offensive to commanders.

[Erik @RungeLifeLaws]

@churchoflazlo @lazlothebuzz And the best:

If there is an animal coming at you and it is 2 feet tall or higher, you gotta fight it with your fists. It’s not gonna fight fair, and neither should you. You gotta punch it in its face. -Lazlo

[Erik @RungeLifeLaws]

@churchoflazlo @lazlothebuzz Here are just a few gems from years past:

If you think you wanna get married, first go slam your dick in a car door. If you can stand that, then you can stand being married. - Lazlo 

Things can be wrong and unimportant. It's okay. Move on. - Lazlo

[Erik @RungeLifeLaws]

@churchoflazlo @lazlothebuzz Raising a kid is brutally hard.  -Lazlo

No matter what the question is, racist hate speech is never the answer.  -Lazlo

There are a lot of people in this world that are one ass-kicking short of being a descent human being. -Lazlo

[Erik @RungeLifeLaws]

@churchoflazlo @lazlothebuzz if you live in a country where you are never offended, then you probably don't live in a free country.  -lazlo

You don't know a hit man.  You know an undercover cop or an FBI agent posing as a hit man. -Lazlo

[Erik @RungeLifeLaws]

@churchoflazlo @lazlothebuzz If you end up peeing your pants at the end of the night, then whatever you've done leading up to that point makes you wrong.  -Lazlo

People who have some sort of knowledge easily second-guess themselves because dumb people are so god damned confident.  -Lazlo

[Erik @RungeLifeLaws]

@churchoflazlo @lazlothebuzz No matter your status in society, everyone is only three bad incidents/decisions away from being homeless. -Lazlo

Never do anything illegal with someone who has less to lose than you.  -Lazlo

One man's trash should be every man's trash - Lazlo

[Erik @RungeLifeLaws]

#vaccinationtime #civicduty

[Erik @RungeLifeLaws]

@TrekOnTheTube It wasn't great, but it wasn't another stupid prequel

[Elliott Downing @elliott_downing]

Goodnight wall
Goodnight goons
Goodnight Scott Baio
And Sheriff Arpaio

Goodnight Jared
Goodnight Q
Goodnight tiny desk
And tiny hands too

Goodnight Trump,
Alone and friendless
Goodnight rage
And the word "tremendous"

Goodnight lies
Goodnight hair
Goodnight noises everywhere

[Erik @RungeLifeLaws]

.@Mike_Pence please invoke the 25th amendment now. Get Trump out before he loses it any more and does something worse.

[Erik @RungeLifeLaws]

Props @Twitter for locking the account of that tinpot dictator @realDonaldTrump

[Erik @RungeLifeLaws]

Please shut down Trump's Twitter account NOW @twitter. He's actively inciting insurrection and terrorism against our country.

[ABC News @ABC]

JUST IN: Sen. Mitt Romney: "Those who choose to continue to support [Pres. Trump's] dangerous gambit by objecting to the results of a legitimate, democratic election will forever be seen as being complicit in an unprecedented attack against our democracy." https://t.co/0Q6lPhOOvt