Cousin Greg

I sometimes know things but not always

[Cousin Greg @RunninOn_MT]

My divorce is your delight

[Brown Panther @drilliebobby]

Nobody in the tortilla industry has the balls to make a corn tortilla the size of a flour tortilla

[Hannah @dumbandfunn]

“I never thought I’d see the day in America where reality show participation wins out over being a police officer.” baby that’s quite possibly the most American thing to ever happen

[Ryan McCann @WRyanMcCann]

Can’t believe the national guard is in Cleveland park like what are y’all even doing here

[matt @mattybtweets69]

looking for jobs is awesome man should I apply on bebee or jooble

[frick @gofrickurself]

At rock bottom do you want anything

[JT @jiratickets]

So hungover I logged into my 401k and added beneficiaries

[⋆Mystica⋆ @mysticlustre]

Women and Cats will do as they please, always and forever

[oatmeal influencer @acechhh]

it’s a conversation many are too scared to take on

[hunter @3gpmh]

when the horse has been dead in the ground for years but i suddenly remember one more tiny detail

[Operation Ivy🍂🦌 @0h_it_Ivy]

I need everyone to check out this link ASAP this is one of the funniest fucking things I've ever read
https://t.co/tffFMVp9YA

[me!rt SEEMS PRETTY SAD FOR A BOY SO IN LOVE @merdozirto]

everybody say thank you lena dunham cuz she felt betrayed and cheated on but didnt intervene and let the best album of all time got created

[A @seattleiminyou]

What hanging with the girls this summer is going to feel like

[Overheard District @OverheardWDC]

On the Senate train, staffer explained the full details of the Taylor Frankie Paul scandal to Ted Cruz. Ted Cruz asked multiple follow up questions about the implications for the Bachelorette.

[Steven Godofsky @sgodofsk]

fiancee is recounting the details of her girls night out and so far no part of it passes the bechdel test

[Big Brother Tea @TheBigBroTea]

Jordan said it’s a shame Jessi can’t be faithful, and Chase said “back to LinkedIn you go” 😭😭 #slomw

[boob dylan @BYUsupersoaker]

how did those alcoholic bitches in college stay so skinny i’ve been on a 3 week bender and i feel like jillian michaels would actually chinese water torture me for what i look like naked rn

[Negi💸 @NM5WRLD]

It takes a special kind of person to live 15 minutes away from work and be late everyday.

[Charli @charli_xcx]

holy shit i met meredith marks