Rupert Hargreaves

Helped universities and councils win EU funding for 22 years. Now helping asylum seekers find safety and security in a hostile post-Brexit world.

PARODY.

[Rupert Hargreaves @RupertRemain]

A perfect day as an asylum seeker in England:

7:00 – Wake up in a hotel the council says does not exist

8:30 – Full English. Paid for. Complain about the sausage

10:00 – File a hate-crime report. A neighbour asked where you were from

11:30 – Meeting with the support worker. She apologises on behalf of the country

13:00 – Collect Universal Credit

15:00 – Marry the 7th wife. Registry office very understanding. Interpreter provided.

18:30 – Knife an innocent bystander outside the station. Film it for the group chat.

19:00 – Tell the officer you felt threatened by his tone

19:01 – Released under investigation

23:00 – Beat your cousin (also your wife).

Life in England is simply a paradise.

[Rupert Hargreaves @RupertRemain]

@PolitlcsUK

[Rupert Hargreaves @RupertRemain]

@kelvmackenzie

[Rupert Hargreaves @RupertRemain]

Life in England as a police officer:

7:00 – Burglary. You do not go. You issue a number. Numbers are policing.

8:15 – Training: misgendering is a hate incident.

9:30 – Arrest a man for a meme posted in 2019.

11:00 – File on the grooming gang. Still “complex.” The meme is not complex.

12.00 - Arrest a man for throwing a plastic bottle.

13:00 – A politician’s front door was attacked. The man is on the camera. His car is on the camera. You write “no one on the tape.”

15:00 – The rape-gang file is still too big. The meme file is one page. You like one page.

17:00 – Other investigators watch your tape. They find the man. You say the picture was fuzzy. It was not fuzzy.

19:00 - The bottle man will serve two years. You put that in the team chat.

21:00 - A woman in another house is dead. She is not in the team chat.

22:30 - Fall asleep. Tomorrow there is another tape. You won’t watch it.

Life in England is simply a paradise.

[Rupert Hargreaves @RupertRemain]

@GBPolitcs

[Rupert Hargreaves @RupertRemain]

@PolitlcsUK

[Rupert Hargreaves @RupertRemain]

@GBPolitcs “We apologise for bringing civilization to you benign savages” probably wouldn’t go down well

[Rupert Hargreaves @RupertRemain]

@Lord_Sugar That's a lot of words to say you think the majority of british people are dumb as bricks

[Rupert Hargreaves @RupertRemain]

@UK_Dispatch_ Nothing unusual here, there's always replacement bus services on a Sunday

[Rupert Hargreaves @RupertRemain]

@PolitlcsUK

[Rupert Hargreaves @RupertRemain]

@GBPolitcs

[Rupert Hargreaves @RupertRemain]

@PolitlcsUK labour immigration policy

[Rupert Hargreaves @RupertRemain]

@GBPolitcs labour government policy

[Rupert Hargreaves @RupertRemain]

@TheNorfolkLion Capitulation is not optional

[Rupert Hargreaves @RupertRemain]

🚨 BREAKING: My sources in Whitehall have confirmed the official British gov response to RAF Fairford:

1) The photograph has been referred for community impact
2) The farmer is being invited to a language workshop
3) Five UK nationals are a cohesion issue, not a perimeter issue
4) Erasmus would have given the young men a structured outlet
5) COBRA will minute the comments section first

More guidance to follow once the climate has been assessed.

[Rupert Hargreaves @RupertRemain]

@Lord_Sugar The most noticeable change is the radicalisation of young British nationals. We must bring back Erasmus.

[Rupert Hargreaves @RupertRemain]

@PolitlcsUK the story keeps getting weirder and weirder

[Rupert Hargreaves @RupertRemain]

@HatterMilliner @PositivFuturist civil war

[Rupert Hargreaves @RupertRemain]

@Polymarket This country has gone down the gutter since we lost Erasmus. Andy knows what he's doing.

[Rupert Hargreaves @RupertRemain]

Perfect day as an asylum seeker in England:

7:00 – Check in to free hotel the council says does not exist.

8:30 – Full English. Paid for. Complain about the sausage.

10:00 – File a hate-crime report. A neighbour asked where you were from.

11:30 – Meeting with the support worker. She apologises on behalf of the country.

13:00 – Collect Universal Credit

15:00 – Marry the 7th wife. Registry office very understanding. Interpreter provided.

18:30 – Spit on innocent bystander outside the station.

19:00 – Tell the officer you felt threatened by his tone.

19:01 – Released under investigation.

23:00 – Beat your first wife (also your cousin).

Life in England is simply a paradise.

[Rupert Hargreaves @RupertRemain]

@johnwillia12104 @PolitlcsUK Thanks john, doing my part to bring attention to the ridiculous state the UK is in. Spread the love if you can.