Rye&Chips

Touch my cereal

[Rye&Chips @RyChip]

I fucking love root vegetables

[Rye&Chips @RyChip]

Watching autistic people giving reviews on tinned fish gives me a sense of happiness not often found through social media

[Rye&Chips @RyChip]

The world is fucked. Political beliefs are becoming more polarized and it feels as a society we’re losing a grasp on empathy.
BUT, at least the energy flow through my room is 10/10 now and I’m sleeping better

[Rye&Chips @RyChip]

Feng shui just might fix me

[Rye&Chips @RyChip]

I’m starting a Partners Of Swifties support group.
Cause I can’t do another full album release at 2am. POS WANTS SLEEP

[Rye&Chips @RyChip]

It starts with power washing videos.

Then it becomes videos of overgrown yards being cleaned.

Next, ditch drains being unclogged.

Night skies, animal births, magnet fishing

Now I’m watching stray cats eating rotisserie chicken.

It’s Timelapse’s. A time lapse is my addiction

[Rye&Chips @RyChip]

I have to start recording the things my wife says when she’s abruptly woken up from a nap.
While violently choking on water, she wakes up and asks “do you need a sweater?”

Thanks love, but I’m comfortably warm while I almost drown on a gulp of water, thanks.

[Rye&Chips @RyChip]

Typical conversation with my wife:

“Wanna see something sexy?”
“Is it me?”
“No”
“Is it you?”
“No, look at this stove”
“…..”

[Rye&Chips @RyChip]

Chicago’s rat hole shrine gives me faith in humanity in these troubling times

[Rye&Chips @RyChip]

I give the porn websites viruses

[Rye&Chips @RyChip]

Nothing like starting the new year with hangxiety so bad that you’re worried the cats are judging you 🙃

[Rye&Chips @RyChip]

I wish all my life troubles could be solved with a Pre-moistened Towelette

[Rye&Chips @RyChip]

Our ancestors went on week long expeditions to gather food.
I’m pleasantly content in bed watching another grown ass man roll some dice to decide what kinda sandwich he’s going to eat that day.

[Rye&Chips @RyChip]

Skipping rocks should be in the summer olympics.
I’d watch the shit out of that

[Rye&Chips @RyChip]

Just got woken up by the ferry staff because “my snoring was distracting other riders” 🥲

[Rye&Chips @RyChip]

Fun fact: If a grocery store has a “members price” you can usually ask the cashier for a “store card” and get the same discounts without the membership 👀

[Rye&Chips @RyChip]

Waking up parched and disoriented in a hotel room. Grabs a water bottle on the bedside without thinking. BOOM, 6 dollars. Fuck

[Rye&Chips @RyChip]

@altmutant Physically. But I’ll be with you in spirit ❤️

[Rye&Chips @RyChip]

@altmutant 😭

[Rye&Chips @RyChip]

The closer I get to my last day of work, the stronger the urge is to punch rude customers in their stupid little faces

[Rye&Chips @RyChip]

Living with cats