HowToBeHappier

I am happy. I want others to be happy. I want to help.

[HowToBeHappier @RyanLynch47]

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I read it to you - Post 1,365: The Obstinate

[HowToBeHappier @RyanLynch47]

Post 1,365: The Obstinate

I needed a service done, and the first person I spoke with would only move forward if I could pay in a way I did not have available. I offered to drive to them and put cash in their hands, and they refused because they did business a specific way.

The next person I spoke with wanted the same thing; however, they worked with me to come to a way everyone would be happy.

I think it is worth finding people in my life who are willing to figure out a mutually beneficial outcome.

~Ryan Lynch

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[HowToBeHappier @RyanLynch47]

I read it to you - Post 1,364: Small Gifts

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Post 1,364: Small Gifts

I have studied me extensively. I have figured out that when I sit down to relax, I like knowing I don’t have anything else to do. For example, if I made dinner, everything is cleaned up before I sit down to eat it. I don’t have to wash a ton of dishes after I eat.

The best part about knowing this about myself is I can control it. I can clean up while I am in the process of putting the food together. I don’t have to expect this from anyone else. I don’t need anyone else to do it for me. I can do it for myself. I know what I want, and I know what I can control.

Look at this small gift I can give myself up to three times a day simply by noticing.

~Ryan Lynch

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[HowToBeHappier @RyanLynch47]

I read it to you - Post 1,363: The Screw Up

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Post 1,363: The Screw Up

How many different ways are there to think about reality? I would guess around eight billion currently. So, how incredibly arrogant is it for me to assume that I just messed up the only one that is right?

~Ryan Lynch

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[HowToBeHappier @RyanLynch47]

I read it to you - Post 1,362: Step One

[HowToBeHappier @RyanLynch47]

Post 1,362: Step One

First, I look for something I can affect.

Is it a reaction I am having? Is it a situation I can change? Is there a question I am asking myself?

Then, if there is something I can adjust, I think about what is the best way I can affect it? What is a change I can make that would make me feel a way I want to feel?

~Ryan Lynch

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[HowToBeHappier @RyanLynch47]

I read it to you - Post 1,361: The Ultimate Failure

[HowToBeHappier @RyanLynch47]

Post 1,361: The Ultimate Failure

What if nothing I plan on works out? What if everything I try fails? What if I just can’t do it?

There will still be a tomorrow. I will still need to figure something else out. I still have (hopefully) decades left.

Just because the future is not what I planned, doesn’t mean I don’t have a future.

~Ryan Lynch

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[HowToBeHappier @RyanLynch47]

I read it to you - Post 1,360: The Focus Muscle

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Post 1,360: The Focus Muscle

Shifting my focus is a muscle. I spent the first twenty-five plus years of my life searching for what is wrong. Putting in that many reps made me extremely powerful in noticing problems. To move from that concentration to a new one of my choosing has taken time on task.

I have had to notice when I am watching for a problem, recenter myself, and then redirect my attention to what I want to be looking for.

So, my first workout was to make that shift. Stop scanning for the bad stuff, start looking for the good I choose.

I can tell you; the muscle is strong now. I can sense the feelings I want less of, and immediately redirect to the questions that get me where I want to go.

It is a muscle. It must be worked out. And maybe stop flexing the “What’s wrong?” muscle so much while I’m at it.

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[HowToBeHappier @RyanLynch47]

I read it to you - Post 1,359: The Lesser Pain

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Post 1,359: The Lesser Pain

I find the hardest choices to stick to are the ones where I am doing something I don’t want to do in order to get something I do want. I decided one pain was worse than another, and so I chose the lesser hurt. However, I then need to deal with the lesser pain constantly because I know what I want. It doesn’t make it any easier to have that pain, though.

Life is incredibly complex. I don’t know if there is a way to get only what I want without the parts I don’t.

I do know the parts I want are worth doing what it takes to get them.

~Ryan Lynch

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[HowToBeHappier @RyanLynch47]

I read it to you - Post 1,358: Inputs Matter

[HowToBeHappier @RyanLynch47]

Post 1,358: Inputs Matter

If I am eating terribly, skipping workouts, and not drinking enough water, nothing else matters. I feel rough.

If I am seeing friends, getting outside, and reading regularly, I feel filled up.

I used to optimize for how other people saw me. Now I aim for what makes me feel the best. It turns out, what I focus on is what I get.

~Ryan Lynch

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[HowToBeHappier @RyanLynch47]

I read it to you - Post 1,357: The Noticer

[HowToBeHappier @RyanLynch47]

Post 1,357: The Noticer

I have made it a practice to just pay more attention to how I am feeling. When am I upset? When am I excited? When am I bored out of my mind?

If I can figure out the answers to these questions, I can affect the situations.

Am I upset because of the story I am telling myself? Am I excited because of something outside me or inside me? Am I bored with something I can control in any way?

Once I have these specific things to think about, I can affect them. None of it is possible without me noticing myself, and how I am feeling.

~Ryan Lynch

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[HowToBeHappier @RyanLynch47]

I read it to you - Post 1,356: How to Make a Better Decision

[HowToBeHappier @RyanLynch47]

Post 1,356: How to Make a Better Decision

There is so much power in a pause. Before I make a decision, taking one slow, deep breath can dramatically shift my perspective. Pulling myself out of my fears, doubts, worries, and preconceptions gives me the chance to see if the choice I am about to make is the story I want to be in.

This is a practice worth beginning. Anytime I am going to make a decision, take a breath first. Pull my focus away for just a minute. Give myself the opportunity to even consider if I want to make a different choice.

Release the grip of the past me, with my previous doubts, fears and programming. Let the me, here and now, make a less pressured decision.

~Ryan Lynch

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