Ryan Mersmann

[booing intensifies]

[Ryan Mersmann @RyanMersmann]

@VedantK_0801 cuz

[Ryan Mersmann @RyanMersmann]

@McLabKSU a scrumptious crème brûlée that my roommate made while i stared on in fascination and bewilderment, awestricken by that strange dessert

[Ryan Mersmann @RyanMersmann]

@t_bicks @kathl33n11 this is the best news i’ve heard in years

[Ryan Mersmann @RyanMersmann]

@McLabKSU the despair spreading over my face as i realize i missed microscopic monday today

[Ryan Mersmann @RyanMersmann]

@McLabKSU the hole through which i attempt to ice fish despite having no experience and refusing to do any research beforehand to predictably disastrous results

[Ryan Mersmann @RyanMersmann]

@McLabKSU the spinach feta croissant i buy from the radinas in the engineering building when i go to buy coffee and realize i’ve forgotten to eat for the last 3 days

[Ryan Mersmann @RyanMersmann]

@McLabKSU an extremely blurry photo of the aliens rushing out to meet our brave naruto runners at area 51 this weekend that the government is trying to keep from us (i have no shame about cashing in on this extremely popular meme (or shame in general))

[Ryan Mersmann @RyanMersmann]

@KatyMersmann @sarahfrzr i think the thing i’m most upset about is that this is literally the first thing i read today

[Ryan Mersmann @RyanMersmann]

@zarcasticness stop making tweets out of our conversations

[Ryan Mersmann @RyanMersmann]

@McLabKSU the monstrous stay-puft marshmallow man (first seen in the 1984 masterpiece “ghostbusters”), dragging himself out of the upside-down (introduced in the 2016 netflix series “stranger things”) as eleven (played by millie bobby brown) roasts him with her mind so everyone can snack

[Ryan Mersmann @RyanMersmann]

@KatyMersmann in my own defense, you text me about once a week “how would the teens feel about this?”

[Ryan Mersmann @RyanMersmann]

@McLabKSU the last glimmers of moonlight breaking through the symbiotic sludge that consumes me, poisoning the last of the goodness inside me even as it makes me stronger, all because john jonah jameson jr. wanted pictures of spiderman, and i longed for fame

[Ryan Mersmann @RyanMersmann]

@McLabKSU the lightning bolt that finally illuminates the monstrous other hunting me in the alien wilderness of a land i’ve never understood, driving me ever farther from my humanity until i become one with the new world, all crystallized in a delightful pudding bath

[Ryan Mersmann @RyanMersmann]

@McLabKSU people recoiling as soon as i finish my 6th cup of coffee and get *very* political in a public place

[Ryan Mersmann @RyanMersmann]

@McLabKSU the craterous remains of the zit featured on the face of justin russo, david henrie’s character in the wizards of waverly place episode “pop me and we both go down” directed by bob berlinger on disney channel originally aired on january 6th, 2008

[Ryan Mersmann @RyanMersmann]

@McLabKSU the worn, stained carpet that once muffled the ringing of the footsteps of royal sycophants in the hall of ozymandias, the long-dead king of kings

[Ryan Mersmann @RyanMersmann]

@McLabKSU the fur of the beast that stalks me in the night, hiding in the shadows of my nightmares. he is hungry and he is angry. soon, he will catch me

[Ryan Mersmann @RyanMersmann]

@McLabKSU the eye of god looking down upon us in well-earned ire. she will never forgive us and we will never deserve forgiveness

[Ryan Mersmann @RyanMersmann]

@McLabKSU the 1958 precursor to the 1961 construction of the seattle space needle, the portland dirt poker

[Ryan Mersmann @RyanMersmann]

@McLabKSU the dark and abominable mothman that haunts my nightmares and stalks me in the shadows finally come to take his due