Ryan Pastircak

[Ryan Pastircak @RyanPastircak]

@andy_couts @WengerKristen Update. Kristen is diagnosed with her first ulcers, though they continue to be outnumbered by her panic attacks. I want paid for this 5 year old premonition.

[Ryan Pastircak @RyanPastircak]

@eiramiaet And I see you’re more proactive than ever! Time for me to take notes.

[Ryan Pastircak @RyanPastircak]

Yikes.

[Ryan Pastircak @RyanPastircak]

Since switching to paper straws, I feel much better about myself when I litter. Like I’m REALLY accomplishing something.

[Ryan Pastircak @RyanPastircak]

@teaimarie How could you not *feed that kitten?! (To your dogs)
Also, nay. My dog would get more depressed 😂

[Ryan Pastircak @RyanPastircak]

@teaimarie How could you not decide to keep that car?? 😭

[Ryan Pastircak @RyanPastircak]

@teaimarie If you text me with a game I’ll actually leave you on read.

[Ryan Pastircak @RyanPastircak]

@teaimarie We’ll revisit this

[Ryan Pastircak @RyanPastircak]

Men’s printed funny/sarcastic/ironic socks are like cologne: to be discovered, not displayed.

[Ryan Pastircak @RyanPastircak]

@JenniferVarcol1 Great way to find out SOMETHING happened, but not WHAT happened! Learned that from a wise mentor

[Ryan Pastircak @RyanPastircak]

Another day fighting the Facebook rumor mill. Fast info will get you the wrong info.

[Ryan Pastircak @RyanPastircak]

@teaimarie ayyyy, everyone needs to know we’re friends so I’m here saying happy birthday! Not sure what astrologists do for their bdays, but I imagine it involves huge playing cards with weird shit drawn on them. So enjoy that!

[Ryan Pastircak @RyanPastircak]

@NickM_WTUZ Feel like we played a game of clue all day long”...it was the husband in the garage with the plumber’s wrench...”

[Ryan Pastircak @RyanPastircak]

Most arguments, annoyances, complaints and problems can be solved in your own mind with a simple thought. “My life is no more important than theirs.” That’s assuming we could believe it.

[Ryan Pastircak @RyanPastircak]

@teaimarie We talked about this...

[Ryan Pastircak @RyanPastircak]

@teaimarie What about stupid expensive water??

[Ryan Pastircak @RyanPastircak]

Remember when we thought the internet would render us incapable of talking to humans face to face? Lo and behold we just started using it to hate each other very, very loudly. Way to beat expectations, everyone! We did it!

[Ryan Pastircak @RyanPastircak]

I’m still waiting for my kick ass ASVAB test scores to pay off. Playing the long game here...

[Ryan Pastircak @RyanPastircak]

Oh god, in 20 years we’re all going to try and talk about a meme we remember, and it’s just going to be the most difficult, confusing conversations we’ve never even been a part of yet.

[Ryan Pastircak @RyanPastircak]

Just read a full thread of Democrats hating each other. You people are the reason Trump will win 2020. Not the Republicans. Not the GOP. And not corruption. It’s just going to be the tribalistic left that screws themselves. I hope it’s painful enough to learn this time.