Ryan Samm

I had stronger opinions abt Jeopardy than geo politics. Snark expressed in these tweets is my own and does not reflect the views of my employer, Alma mater etc

[Ryan Samm @RyanSamm17]

@veebaamonde Don't worry, it gets worse!

[Ryan Samm @RyanSamm17]

@RepGusBilirakis congratulations, you are the biggest grandstanding hypocrite slimeball in a room full of grandstanding hypocrite slimeballs. At least for today

[Ryan Samm @RyanSamm17]

Rep Bilirakis, who is currently saying that tiktok technology leads to the death of children, is endorsed by the NRA. #tiktokhearing

[Ryan Samm @RyanSamm17]

You can't get dogs on amazon. #SuperBowl

[Ryan Samm @RyanSamm17]

Elon sitting with Rupert Murdoch after constantly tweeting about how you can't trust the press would probably make me think he's full of shit if I didn't know any better #SuperBowl

[Ryan Samm @RyanSamm17]

We deserve overtime. #TNF

[Trung Phan @TrungTPhan]

Guy and Vanilla Ice are buds. Here’s how they met:

“This guy don’t sit down,” said Mr. Van Winkle, who traced the friendship to a chance encounter years ago at an airport Starbucks in Charlotte. “I don’t sit down a lot, too, and I look at him and go, ‘Bro, you don’t sit down.’”

[Ryan Samm @RyanSamm17]

Imagine @jonimitchell and @Neilyoung release a cover of Promiscuous by @NellyFurtado but you can only listen to it by showing proof that you canceled your Spotify membership...

[Ryan Samm @RyanSamm17]

#GoDawgs

[Ryan Samm @RyanSamm17]

Me: I find traveling very relaxing
Also me:

[Ryan Samm @RyanSamm17]

#ForzaAzzurri

[Ryan Samm @RyanSamm17]

At least Mac Jones can afford a tailor now #NFLDraft

[Ryan Samm @RyanSamm17]

I'd like to speak with whomstever is responsible for pricing these mcnuggets

[Ryan Samm @RyanSamm17]

@shalagirolami I thought my texts were working again! But 🙏🙏🙏 excellent idea, I think you've inspired me to do the same (I'll never get an iPhone tho)

[Ryan Samm @RyanSamm17]

Can't believe @PatrickMahomes is going from playing Zero in Holes to winning back to back Super Bowls in less than 20 years. #SuperBowl

[Ryan Samm @RyanSamm17]

The new @Oreo brookie-os taste like Waffle Crisps. There, I said it

[Ryan Samm @RyanSamm17]

"About the Author" is a weird section to include at the end of an autobiography

[Ryan Samm @RyanSamm17]

RIP Alex Trebek 💔 https://t.co/Fn19NfGB8J

[Ryan Samm @RyanSamm17]

Choose literally any policy and it could be 100% funded by a pay-per-view of @realDonaldTrump being dragged out of the White House by the Secret Service.

[VANITY FAIR @VanityFair]

Trump has signaled to allies that the Secret Service will have to drag him from the White House kicking and screaming https://t.co/hGxPyyAHNs

[Ryan Samm @RyanSamm17]

Like a lot of people, I would really really enjoy a @realDonaldTrump loser speech, but the good news is every time he's ever opened his mouth it's been a loser speech. #FireTrump