Ryan Wagner

Writer: The Newsroom / Molly’s Game / Malice former blue check

[Ryan Wagner @Ryan_Walner]

(Borat Voice)

Miiiike Whhiiiite!!

[Ryan Wagner @Ryan_Walner]

Before telephone wires did birds just sit on the ground?

[Ryan Wagner @Ryan_Walner]

Normal car pulling tiny car or giant car pulling normal car?

[Ryan Wagner @Ryan_Walner]

@holy_schnitt Wow love that we’re on the same antidepressant

[Ryan Wagner @Ryan_Walner]

why do dads do this

[Ryan Wagner @Ryan_Walner]

@jaredstern @zachbdunn Exactly!!

[Ryan Wagner @Ryan_Walner]

@Corn_Chex probably triggered a time when he lost his yo yo

[Andrea More @amore_orless]

This is Victor. He’s a street vendor in my neighborhood and also my favorite neighbor. I’ve been buying fruit from him since I moved to the neighborhood 4 years ago but I’ve been going to him consistently once a week for over a year to buy fruit for the community fridges 1/3

[Ryan Wagner @Ryan_Walner]

@CoachHamerILL Congrats!!!!

[Jake Prizant @jakeprizant_]

do not speak to her or else

[Ryan Wagner @Ryan_Walner]

How could it be

[Ryan Wagner @Ryan_Walner]

“You’re a natural sexpert!”

[Daily Star @dailystar]

Sexpert shares four words people love to hear during sex https://t.co/IprDx3xjhv

[Ryan Wagner @Ryan_Walner]

@holy_schnitt @jordysongs hey guys

[Ryan Wagner @Ryan_Walner]

@holy_schnitt @Corn_Chex If pizza can’t make its way through your body and out your butt by the time you’re done eating then it’s not pizza!!

[Ryan Wagner @Ryan_Walner]

Forever haunted by this, the most disturbed smile of all time.

[Ryan Wagner @Ryan_Walner]

Fuck there’s a “Jackass 2,” which, needless to say, should be called “Jackass Too”. Should I make this a thread?

[Ryan Wagner @Ryan_Walner]

“A Quiet Place 2” should be called “A Quiet Place Too,” as it is the second “A Quiet Place.” Not sure why that is so complicated?

[Ryan Wagner @Ryan_Walner]

Now realizing this has been a problem for a while. Just heard about “Back to the Future 2,” which would make more sense as “Back to the Future Too”, as it is the second “Back to the Future” movie.

[Ryan Wagner @Ryan_Walner]

Me: “Alright Gil, I found a spot you can hide for a while. Just lay low and nobody will find you.”

Fucking Gil: