Too often, the wounded boy grows up to become a wounding man, inflicting upon those closest to him the very distress he refuses to acknowledge within himself.
-Terrence Real
Someone needs to hear this: the perfect partner doesn't exist. The perfect relationship doesn't exist. Human beings are flawed. We're all doing the best we can. Release the illusion of perfection and embrace the messy, vulnerable journey we call love.
A long time ago, I read Henri Nouwen say somewhere: “It takes a lot of humiliation for just a little bit of humility.”
Since then, I think I’ve come to the conclusion that “being embarrassed” is part of spiritual formation. It’s just not the exciting part.
You cannot erase trauma memories. “What cannot be talked about can also not be put to rest, and if it is not, the wounds continue to fester from generation to generation.”
Bruno Bettelheim
Generally speaking, fools think they are wise and 100% right--and the wise are aware of the incompleteness of their wisdom and their continued foolishness. Thus the foolish call out everyone and the wise do it sometimes but realize how different things may look in 5 yrs.
Life is hard but I do think it is possible to maybe diversify some interests—something enjoyable & life giving—enough to make it a little less hard. I can’t help but think obsessing about the same thing over over on social media only makes us feel worse. Less heard. Less known.
Exuding the fruit of gentleness has nothing to do with being weak. In fact, it requires the deepest, most courageous, and most heroic kind of strength—the kind that is possible only through the gentle and gentling power of Christ himself.
A pastor with a theological degree and knowledge of Scripture can lift words out of those Scriptures, pronounce them with authority, and wound those under their care. An ability to articulate theological truths does not mean the speaker is an obedient servant of God.
Servant of Christ, that unexpected thing that has you in a tailspin Jesus saw coming all along. He’s fully prepared for it & has prepared you for it more than you realize. Don’t panic or knee-jerk. Don’t assume the worst. Seek his wisdom, confident you’ll receive it and you will.
The Christian interior journey is not simply about gazing inward to better understand our sin and pain. It’s also about becoming aware of stories and systems we’re embedded in, our unconscious biases, our unwitting allegiances. Both take a lot of intentional work!
When you listen to and read one thinker, you become a clone; Two different thinkers, you become confused; Ten thinkers, you’ll begin developing your own voice; Two or three hundred thinkers, you become wise.
If the dominant note of our life becomes what others need, we will drown. God often has to remind me that in my work, He and He alone is the source of my inspiration and my courage. That which inspires me is behind me, under me, and in me, not in front of me.
Leadership like Jesus is stunningly different from the focus on the grand and great leader we often find in churches today. Leadership in the name of Jesus is a regressive leadership — a leadership that goes back, stoops and willingly becomes small.