Samantha Q Urkel 🥪

I’m the CEO of Christmas. Followed by Culvers, Cousins Subs, Hidden Valley Ranch & Britney Spears...need I say more?

[m @pumptinis]

BAN BETA BLOCKERS FROM REUNIONS! ALCOHOLICS ONLY! #summerhouse

[Meech @MediumSizeMeech]

Would love to see a nice romcom at the movies but it’s 9 horror films and star war

[Samantha Q Urkel 🥪 @SAMMwwich]

@Fantasticb0yage @loveislandusa It’s giving “🎶you wanna be on toppp🎶”

[Michael @micgrochowski]

It’s $30 now to go to summerfest. I used to get in with a can of soup.

[🦢 @damnidc__]

I just overheard a woman say
"I'm not being mean. I'm just not actively making you comfortable."
... and I'll be using that line forever

[Samantha Q Urkel 🥪 @SAMMwwich]

I love this man, literally an army of a million dead people are coming to kill you and he’s like “is my crush here??”

[droopy @Jruepeacock2234]

I blew up the bathroom at home goods in Wauwatosa

[Samantha Q Urkel 🥪 @SAMMwwich]

S4 E7 Traitors : Hard boiled eggs @peacock

[Samantha Q Urkel 🥪 @SAMMwwich]

Tim the tool man TAYLOR

[Samantha Q Urkel 🥪 @SAMMwwich]

Dude…perfume commercials make NO SENSE

[Samantha Q Urkel 🥪 @SAMMwwich]

Living in Tosa:

[Samantha Q Urkel 🥪 @SAMMwwich]

@ohhokayright Hahahahahahahahaha great use of hurl

[BLACKNOSTALGIA on TikTok @just_tracee]

Nobody:

Nick and Annie:

#LoveIsBlind #LoveisBlind9 #LoveIsBlindS9

[Samantha Q Urkel 🥪 @SAMMwwich]

The amount of times I have to resist saying “they sang this in Glee” is exhausting

[Samantha Q Urkel 🥪 @SAMMwwich]

People: “don’t use AI, it’s going to take over the world”

Me using AI:

[Samantha Q Urkel 🥪 @SAMMwwich]

Hey ChatGPT what does it mean that I get “His Cheeseburger” by Veggie Tales stuck in my head 2x a week?

[Samantha Q Urkel 🥪 @SAMMwwich]

Why do boys love to repost stories but not post their own???

[Samantha Q Urkel 🥪 @SAMMwwich]

I don’t know how to explain it but Severance is slandering the hardboiled egg

[klarzzz @ohhokayright]

Just here to say I HATE my brooklinen duvet cover that is all

[Samantha Q Urkel 🥪 @SAMMwwich]

I never refer to my 20s as “in my 20s”, it’s always “back when I was poor and going out all the time”