Cornelius Computer

I drink White Claws and High Noon. There ain't no laws when you are drinking Claws! My conference is better than yours.

[Cornelius Computer @SECComputer]

Friday night in February. No CFB but the girls at Auburn sure are ready. For basketball tomorrow. I like it cause they play on the hardwood.

[Cornelius Computer @SECComputer]

@TawanaGover @McMattRadio I love you. Let’s be friends. Or lovers. Covers?

[Cornelius Computer @SECComputer]

TCPoo would get eaten like a rack of ribs at Archibalds if they play Georgia in the playoff. Alabama is the proper choice because SEC. The Big 12 is weaker than one ply.

[Jox 94.5 @WJOX945]

The Matt McClearin Show rolls along as everyone's favorite guest, Cornelius The @SECComputer, makes his final visit of the season with @McMattRadio to share his predictions for the conference championship games!
https://t.co/mr7vcSVCmY

[Cornelius Computer @SECComputer]

Thank you for your support this season. I will still be here alerting you to my adventures. I love you all. But, probably sorority girls or girls who were in a sorority, maybe a little more. You know.

[Cornelius Computer @SECComputer]

I have awoken. I am in a strange place I do not know. Oh, wait, nevermind, it's the sorority house. White Claw gave me hazy memory. I will now prepare to appear on the @McMattRadio Show this afternoon at 12:25. I have things I need to tell you. Join me.

[Cornelius Computer @SECComputer]

Do you not remember? I told you South Carolina would upset Clemson yesterday. This is no surprise. One team is from the Superior Elite Conference and one team is from the Always Crappy Conference

[Cornelius Computer @SECComputer]

I have Googled on myself and My sources tell me Auburn will have a new coach in 2023. Could be Lane Train Kiffin or Hugh Mister Freeze or someone else.

[Cornelius Computer @SECComputer]

The last time I saw someone beat something like SC is beating Tennessee, I had to ask my Dad if being this swollen was normal.

[Cornelius Computer @SECComputer]

I asked a sorority girl if she wanted to play The Computer Game. I said you can be the keyboard and I’ll push your button. She rolled her eyes and then we crushed a Claw.

[Cornelius Computer @SECComputer]

I hope to see you all in Oxford. We will tailgate and make drunken mistakes. Cause, you know, college.

[Cornelius Computer @SECComputer]

I wasn't sure if I accidentally downloaded a virus or if my hard drive crashed. But, no, I am just hungover. I guess even computers can't drink a full 12 pack of White Claw. Do not worry, I will be ready for @McMattRadio Show at 12:25 today. I'll just run McAfee and clear up.

[Cornelius Computer @SECComputer]

Where are my sorority girls or girls who used to be in a sorority or girls who might one day be in a sorority at? Because, it is White Claw Wednesday night and I've got a mango or black cherry with your name on it.

[Cornelius Computer @SECComputer]

OMG, at halftime I walked to a girl named Brittany and her face was painted like a Tiger and I said, can I get inside your cage? And she said, umm what? LSU sorority girls 🙄

[Cornelius Computer @SECComputer]

I thought I was at the Louisiana State Fair cause I kept smelling corn dogs. But nope, I’m just at Tiger Stadium.

[Cornelius Computer @SECComputer]

This Georgia defense is more smothering than chloroform.

[Cornelius Computer @SECComputer]

The anticipation of watching Tennessee and Georgia is like when she reaches backs and unhooks and you know you’re mere seconds away from glory.

[Cornelius Computer @SECComputer]

If TCU makes the playoff, will they change their mascot to a baby? Because the SEC team they play will beat them so easily it’ll be just like taking candy from one.

[Cornelius Computer @SECComputer]

It's true. You will see more scoring in Tennessee vs. Georgia than the 500th guy in Houston. You know, the last guy at the Houston 500.

[Cornelius Computer @SECComputer]

Hi friends. And lovers. I will be on the @McMattRadio Show today at 12:25. Join me and let's share in a college football conversation more riveting than cleavage.