Steve Coulthard

I like your hustle.

[Steve Coulthard @SJCoulthard]

@iaincwright

[Steve Coulthard @SJCoulthard]

There's been a single piece of Fusilli pasta on the floor of the stairwell at work for almost 2 weeks, but today I found that someone has moved it and now I know how it feels to lose a pet.

[Steve Coulthard @SJCoulthard]

Theresa May making a deal with the DUP like

[Steve Coulthard @SJCoulthard]

I'm going to take up smoking so people at work won't know how many poop breaks I take.

[Steve Coulthard @SJCoulthard]

Meanwhile, at Conservative Party HQ, the tried and tested campaign strategy of "Well what have we been saying WE are?"

[Steve Coulthard @SJCoulthard]

Was at the dentist and his sidekick started using my shoulder as a table. I don't think my dirty hoody qualifies as a sanitary workstation.

[Steve Coulthard @SJCoulthard]

My pupper is melting.

[Steve Coulthard @SJCoulthard]

Anyone who ever puts more than one explanation mark should probably be sectioned!!!

[Michael Coulthard @coulthardm]

@Dratzenberger @WoodyHarrelson @GeorgeWendt @RheaPerlman @KelseyGrammer Hi I'm trying to get a message to Danson, can you help?

[Michael Coulthard @coulthardm]

@MarySteenburgen can you show this to Ted please

[Michael Coulthard @coulthardm]

@TedDanson did you see this Ted?

[Michael Coulthard @coulthardm]

Catching up with some Teddy D. Ted Danson loves hugs and I love Ted Danson.

[Steve Coulthard @SJCoulthard]

What's the New Years equivalent of Bah Humbug? Whatever it is, that.

[Dave Gorman @DaveGorman]

This episode of Black Mirror's been on for nearly 7 months now.

[Steve Coulthard @SJCoulthard]

@Jemmaalaw I knew you were a filthy communist.

[Steve Coulthard @SJCoulthard]

@SJCoulthard Sorry if that offended anyone, I'm trying out some new raunchier material

[Steve Coulthard @SJCoulthard]

Here's a humorous observation, men don't generally take as long to get ready as women do, haha.

[Steve Coulthard @SJCoulthard]

@frasermcf1996 @DCogan_10 Incase you hadn't figured out he's talking about you @scotthyndman94

[Steve Coulthard @SJCoulthard]

Please someone stop the football match that man is on fire 🎵