Scott Jones Writes

[Scott Jones Writes @sjoneswrites]

"Each and every one of us, fictional or not, is a member in good standing of the species Homo Fabula -- the storytelling people."

-Bill Willingham

[Scott Jones Writes @sjoneswrites]

We’ll never see a better version of Earth than the one where @notthefakeSVP and @ryenarussillo were on the air together.. I miss it so much

[Scott Jones Writes @sjoneswrites]

I don’t care what you believe, there’s no more important historical figure than the first person to fry a potato.

[Scott Jones Writes @sjoneswrites]

@Hopcatchy Typically by when all my troubles seem so far aways

[Scott Jones Writes @sjoneswrites]

@LemonyBisquitts @AbatusNathan @murray_blain @mattxiv This poor kid 😂 I want to know why he thinks the phrase is nick-picking so bad now.. is there like a boy in his gym class named Nick that doesn’t listen to Ben Shapiro?

[Scott Jones Writes @sjoneswrites]

Which of these two names sounds more like the name Troy?

[Scott Jones Writes @sjoneswrites]

It’s weird that there are infinite versions of me in infinite universes and none of them like mayonnaise

[Scott Jones Writes @sjoneswrites]

@LindenmuthWendi Third consecutive day at Disney World with 14 other family members vibes

[Scott Jones Writes @sjoneswrites]

My wife: I’m hungry
Me: *names every food*
My wife: No not that

[Scott Jones Writes @sjoneswrites]

I’m thankful you didn’t say banana

[Scott Jones Writes @sjoneswrites]

I just wanna eat snacks and be left alone 😔

[Scott Jones Writes @sjoneswrites]

The one thing I think we all can agree on is that we don’t actually care what other people think unless it’s about us

[Scott Jones Writes @sjoneswrites]

People do be doing

[Scott Jones Writes @sjoneswrites]

@storiesbykris When the story is told

[Scott Jones Writes @sjoneswrites]

Excited to announce that in May of 2022 I will have my second college diploma that I'll have no idea what to do with 🎓

[Scott Jones Writes @sjoneswrites]

This place is weird

[Scott Jones Writes @sjoneswrites]

Harvest Moon 64 is the greatest video game ever made

[Scott Jones Writes @sjoneswrites]

People used to look a newborn baby dead in the eyes and say, “We’re going to call you Lester.”

[Scott Jones Writes @sjoneswrites]

I love my wife more than life itself but the acoustics of her mouth make tortilla chips sound like gravel being run through a garbage disposal

[Scott Jones Writes @sjoneswrites]

How dare anyone say car payment when Destiny’s Child gifted us automo’ bills.

[Scott Jones Writes @sjoneswrites]

I might not be much to look at but at least I’m incredibly irritating to be around