Shit My Aussie Says

Just shit that my Aussie says every day

[Shit My Aussie Says @SMyAussieSays]

‘He’s from amother planet. Not a cool one like Superman, a weird one like Tasmania.’

[Shit My Aussie Says @SMyAussieSays]

‘Knob jockey is just a more polite way of saying wanker’

[Shit My Aussie Says @SMyAussieSays]

‘A post-grog bog’

[Shit My Aussie Says @SMyAussieSays]

‘OH SHE’S DEAF! I thought she was Welsh!’

[Shit My Aussie Says @SMyAussieSays]

‘Lettuce tastes like chunky water. Why would I want to eat chunky water?!’

[Shit My Aussie Says @SMyAussieSays]

‘I’m hyped up like a whore at Christmas’

[Shit My Aussie Says @SMyAussieSays]

‘I’d sell my arsehole for $5.2 million’

[Shit My Aussie Says @SMyAussieSays]

‘He’s not Catholic, he’s a Kiwi!’

[Shit My Aussie Says @SMyAussieSays]

‘We’re out of here like a dog shot in the arse’

[Shit My Aussie Says @SMyAussieSays]

‘I’ll sleep anywhere. A ditch is a ditch’

[Shit My Aussie Says @SMyAussieSays]

‘It’s as dry as a nun’s nose’

[Shit My Aussie Says @SMyAussieSays]

‘He wouldn’t know me from a bar of soap’

[Shit My Aussie Says @SMyAussieSays]

‘Maccas is fucking grouse!’

[Shit My Aussie Says @SMyAussieSays]

‘Watching your wife give birth is like watching your favourite pub burn down’

[Shit My Aussie Says @SMyAussieSays]

‘Seriously though. How good is a meat raffle?!’

[Shit My Aussie Says @SMyAussieSays]

‘Don’t piss in my pocket and tell me it’s raining’

[Shit My Aussie Says @SMyAussieSays]

‘Are we just going to sit here like a shag on a rock?’

[Shit My Aussie Says @SMyAussieSays]

‘He could talk underwater with a mouth full of marbles’

[Shit My Aussie Says @SMyAussieSays]

‘That went off like a frog in a sock’

[Shit My Aussie Says @SMyAussieSays]

‘I’m sweating like a Christmas pig’