DAN THE MAN

trying as hard as i can to piss of @capscop and be The Goodest Meme Like I Have Always Dreamed 💫 (ib: @berniethoughts )

[DAN THE MAN @SOUPYSHOUTING]

DON'T SAY YOU'RE POP PUNK UNLESS YOUR DICK SMALL ENOUGH TO FIT THROUGH THE HOLE IN THE CENTER OF A VINYL RECORD

[DAN THE MAN @SOUPYSHOUTING]

HAPPY 420 BOUGHT SHOES FROM A DRUG DEALER DONT KNOW WHAT HE LACED THEM WITH BUT IVE BEEN TRIPPING ALL DAY

[DAN THE MAN @SOUPYSHOUTING]

SO YOU’RE GUNNA BRING A BIRTHDAY GIFT TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY ON MY BIRTHDAY TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY ON MY BIRTHDAY

[DAN THE MAN @SOUPYSHOUTING]

WE’VE TEAMED UP WITH ERIC ANDRE TO MAKE A SPECIAL MINI-EPISODE OF “BIRD UP” FEATURING ONLY PIGEONS. COMIN SOON.

[DAN THE MAN @SOUPYSHOUTING]

OUR NEW ALBUM IS EZCORE AND ITS ALL BECAUSE OF NICK STEINBORN

[DAN THE MAN @SOUPYSHOUTING]

I CAN DO EVERYTHING IM THE FUCKING LIZARD KING

[DAN THE MAN @SOUPYSHOUTING]

WHAT HAPPENS AFTER YOU DIE I WANNA DIE IN THE REASONABLY PRICED FUNERAL HOME PURCHASED BY MY WIFE

[DAN THE MAN @SOUPYSHOUTING]

CALLING PEOPLE SNAKES IS AN INSULT TO SNAKES JUST CALL THEM SHITHEADS

[DAN THE MAN @SOUPYSHOUTING]

YOU THINK YOU'RE DONE CRYING IM GOING ON A FULL AARON WEST TOUR AFTER THIS PLAYING EVERY SONG AND A SECRET ONE HAHA

[DAN THE MAN @SOUPYSHOUTING]

WELL I CUT OPEN MY PALM AND HELD IT OUT TO YOU AND YOU FUCKING DID NOTHING I AM BLEEDING PROFUSELY JANET GET A FUCKING BANDAGE

[DAN THE MAN @SOUPYSHOUTING]

HAHA ITS IRONIC BECAUSE CHICAGO IS DESPERATE FOR LOGAN CIRCLE OH HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED

[DAN THE MAN @SOUPYSHOUTING]

OKAY I FUCKED UP ONCE SUBURBIA CAME OUT YEARS AGO GIMME A FUCKING BREAK

[DAN THE MAN @SOUPYSHOUTING]

IM GUNNA HAVE TO CANCEL THE REST OF THIS TOUR ALL OF YOU ARE CRYING TOO LOUD ITS RUINING THE SONGS

[DAN THE MAN @SOUPYSHOUTING]

YOU WON'T SEE FIR OR THAT FUCKING MAKEOUT BAND CAUGHT DEAD ANYWHERE NEAR ME

[DAN THE MAN @SOUPYSHOUTING]

I ONLY PUT STARS ON MY TOURS

[DAN THE MAN @SOUPYSHOUTING]

I HAVN'T PLAYED MUSIC IS 2 MONTHS WHICH IN MUSIC TIME IS STILL 2 MONTHS IM A FUCKING GOD YOU ARE STILL CRYING BECAUSE OF B&D

[DAN THE MAN @SOUPYSHOUTING]

THE TEN YEAR FOOTAGE IS IN NICS ASS

[Punk Band Names @Punk_Generator]

Grover Clevland, the 22nd President of the UsA

[DAN THE MAN @SOUPYSHOUTING]

DONT PAINT ME BLACK OR GOLDEN THIS SUIT IS FUCKING ITALIAN JESS

[DAN THE MAN @SOUPYSHOUTING]

@Andrew_twy https://t.co/62QATQmTND

[DAN THE MAN @SOUPYSHOUTING]

FUCKING SICK OF THIS FANCY ASS SHIT FOR FOOD JUST GIVE ME BREAD WITH SHIT ON IT

[DAN THE MAN @SOUPYSHOUTING]

HOLD ON MUTHAFUCKAS WE BOUT TO OVERDOSE ON PEPTO BISMOL AND GO STRAIGHT TO FUCKING PURGATORY BITCHES