Spoilerfest

Just here to spoil stuff. No alerts. No mercy.

[Spoilerfest @SPOILERFEST]

IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE (1946):

George learns a thing or two about family and Christmas miracles. He realizes his existence is important when he gets a sneak peak at the darkest timeline! So he doesn't kill himself after all! And the angel gets a promotion! Sick! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

[Spoilerfest @SPOILERFEST]

HOME ALONE (1991):

After a series of near-fatal run-ins with the Wet Bandits, Kevin escapes with his life when his creepy-ass neighbor hits them with a snow shovel. A can of paint won't stop them but a shovel will?

Anyway, his family returns on Xmas. NICE!

[Spoilerfest @SPOILERFEST]

TOY STORY (1995):

Buzz and Woody, once mortal enemies, learn the value of friendship after a series of high-stakes capers. "You've got a friend in me", indeed.

[Spoilerfest @SPOILERFEST]

RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (1981):

Surprise, surprise the bad guys open the box and and then their face melts! Indy knows to close your eyes as to prevent face melting.

[Spoilerfest @SPOILERFEST]

8 1/2 (1963):

Guido kills himself. Or maybe he dreams it? Who knows with this movie. Pretty certain its a dream. Regardless, he dances with a bunch of clowns and all the people in his life and it is pretty fun. But is this also a dream?

[Spoilerfest @SPOILERFEST]

TITANIC (1997):

Rose gets drawn like one of the French Girls, which is good, but then the boat sinks and everyone dies except for Rose... so looks like the rich DO get everything

[Spoilerfest @SPOILERFEST]

BLACK SWAN (2010):

Natalie Portman dances the best Swan Lake ever in the history of Swan Lakes but also turns into the evil black bird so I guess you can't have everything

[Spoilerfest @SPOILERFEST]

SINGIN' IN THE RAIN (1952):

They embarrass that one actress whose only real fault is not being a good singer, in front of a huge crowd of people, and then Gene Kelly and Debbie Reynolds kiss in front of a sign with their own faces on it. Conceited!

[Spoilerfest @SPOILERFEST]

DANCER IN THE DARK (2001):

Selma gives up everything so her dumb son can see with his eyes for the rest of his life, and he doesn't even really get what is going on, the dummy.

Oh yeah, then she gets hanged for killing a guy.

[Spoilerfest @SPOILERFEST]

A CLOCKWORK ORANGE (1971):

Alex is rehabilitated, but, like, not really, you know?

[Spoilerfest @SPOILERFEST]

BABY DRIVER (2017):

Baby kills so many people, and then goes to jail but then gets let out somehow... and everyone is totally cool with it because DAMN THAT SOUNDTRACK AMIRIGHT?

[Spoilerfest @SPOILERFEST]

GRIZZLY MAN (2005):

Hoo yip, hoo yip, hoo

[Spoilerfest @SPOILERFEST]

THE SIXTH SENSE (1999):

Bruce Willis was dead the whole time. That's why the kid who could see dead people could see him... Because he WAS dead people!

[Spoilerfest @SPOILERFEST]

THE HATEFUL EIGHT (2015):

Everyone dies in this movie too, except for one person!

BONUS SPOILER: America STILL hasn't gotten over the Civil War!

[Spoilerfest @SPOILERFEST]

ROGUE ONE: A STAR WARS STORY (2016):

Get a load of this: everyone dies!

Bonus spoiler: Princess Leia appears, says something about hope, and has a gnarly CGI face

[Spoilerfest @SPOILERFEST]

THE DEPARTED (2006):

A rat appears in the very last shot, heavy-handedly representing some of the characters from the film

[Spoilerfest @SPOILERFEST]

LA LA LAND (2016):

They both go separate ways instead of staying together, even though they clearly love each other... but thankfully jazz is saved.

[Spoilerfest @SPOILERFEST]

JAWS (1975):

They finally got that stupid shark in the end, haha and you really got to see how fake it was, but it doesn't matter it was still a pretty tense movie haha OH NO IT GOT QUINT

[Spoilerfest @SPOILERFEST]

THE SHINING (1980):

Family escapes and Jack Torrance becomes a human popsicle. Murderous impulses all metaphor for alcoholism.

[Spoilerfest @SPOILERFEST]

TOOTSIE (1982):

Pretty wild that it takes a man dressing up as a woman to teach everyone a thing or two about the poor treatment of women in society, but here we are.