Gwen Ophelia

[Gwen Ophelia @STNTBWD]

H: Your Eazy Bake oven is mining Bitcoin while baking your brownies.

[Gwen Ophelia @STNTBWD]

S: That drink tasted like Fabulouso but with extra stank.

[Gwen Ophelia @STNTBWD]

S: So once you have precheck, you'll still get fondled by some old man, you just won't have to wait in line for it.

[Gwen Ophelia @STNTBWD]

K: If you have a banana in the car, what do you do with the peel? R: Well, it's not Mario Kart.

[Gwen Ophelia @STNTBWD]

K: Oh no, no babies. These hips are just decorative.

[Gwen Ophelia @STNTBWD]

M: He's a dial tone of a human being. With a mustache.

[Gwen Ophelia @STNTBWD]

I: Be someone. Be a ho.

[Gwen Ophelia @STNTBWD]

C: Your wedding was so good at least 3 couples broke up.

[Gwen Ophelia @STNTBWD]

J: You have noodles in your bosom.

[Gwen Ophelia @STNTBWD]

S: If you want to leave some confetti for your gentleman caller, who am I to judge?

[Gwen Ophelia @STNTBWD]

Z: Parmesan is DEFINITELY more famous than Flava Flav.

[Gwen Ophelia @STNTBWD]

A: Generally I like to be more genital-neutral when it comes to vehicle decisions.

[Gwen Ophelia @STNTBWD]

B: Ah, I spent so much time at that bar and I remember so little of it.

[Gwen Ophelia @STNTBWD]

R: Social media is just like Communism. Good on paper, shit in practice.

[Gwen Ophelia @STNTBWD]

J: Why did you pick up my butter?!?!? B: I dunno, I wasn't sure it was butter.

[Gwen Ophelia @STNTBWD]

Z: I brought the bidet into this relationship.

[Gwen Ophelia @STNTBWD]

Z: I like that "ambiance" was the word we used with the molester van.

[Gwen Ophelia @STNTBWD]

D: You can't really argue when you don't have underwear on.

[Gwen Ophelia @STNTBWD]

H: We needed the Uber of strippers. Who can be here 5 minutes?

[Gwen Ophelia @STNTBWD]

K: You're lactating expensive things.