Samuél

Proud son of a less-proud father.

[Samuél @SaMeloni]

I’m Barqin’ like a dog for some Root.

[Samuél @SaMeloni]

A hung jury. One not of my peers.

[Samuél @SaMeloni]

Getting erectile at dis function.

[Samuél @SaMeloni]

Going to Irish up my wife’s tampons before next week.

[Samuél @SaMeloni]

Expertly cleared up the Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana issue for my father. I wonder if he’ll share this with his firefighter buddies.

[Samuél @SaMeloni]

Her hands look like this (diligently studying mathematics) so mine can look like this (white knuckling my hog).

[Samuél @SaMeloni]

I’ve never had a garbanzo bean into my ass.

[Samuél @SaMeloni]

Piss so hot this urinal’s radiating like a Weber.

[Samuél @SaMeloni]

“Microscopic urine” actually its normal sized. From a normal sized penis.

[Samuél @SaMeloni]

You tellin’ me somebody bred these crumbs?

[Samuél @SaMeloni]

(The most Seasonally Affected man you’ve ever met): Days are gettin’ longer!

[Samuél @SaMeloni]

Real men got that one enduring crack on the windshield.

[Samuél @SaMeloni]

There’s no way my ancestors needed to nut this often.

[Samuél @SaMeloni]

I bleed Husker red and I cum Husker red and I also shit Husker red I need to go to a doctor.

[Samuél @SaMeloni]

If I was Usher I would have Confessed to a catholic priest and moved on.

[Samuél @SaMeloni]

Full moon, full poon. My wife is bleeding heavily.

[Samuél @SaMeloni]

(Toddler guitarist) I’ve been playing a lot of Slide lately.

[Samuél @SaMeloni]

Stickin’ my Hög in that Dazs.

[Samuél @SaMeloni]

Success.

[Samuél @SaMeloni]

Cut my finger it hurts to jack off.

[Samuél @SaMeloni]

Cut my finger it hurts to jack off.