whispers

[A.Y.O @YusufAsunmogejo]

I am sorry this is coming late 👏🏿 let’s get to it.

I see two problems here: cultural tribalism from Muslims and “I told you so” pressure from her non-Muslim family.

But as scholars say, there will always be a solution.

The first hard truth I will say to you is that the repeated rejections are not just parent; they are a man problem. If these prospective suitors fold the moment their parents raise an eyebrow, it means they lack the maturity and religious firmness required to be good husbands.

Before your friend invests any emotional energy into a man, the conversation about his family needs to happen early.

He must be asked directly (consider the following questions):

How do your parents feel about converts?
If they object based on culture, do you have the courage to stand your ground using Islamic principles?

If he hesitates or indicates he cannot go against a purely cultural whim, she should walk away immediately.

Also, she should work on her target demography. If a certain cultural demographic consistently brings her nothing but heartache and gatekeeping, she needs to stop looking there.

Islam is vast and diverse. She should widen her circle to look for practicing men from different backgrounds, including other dedicated converts or families who genuinely prioritize the sunnah over tribal lineage.

In fact, she deserves to be celebrated by her in-laws for her devotion, not tolerated or looked down upon.

Please, tell her that as for her mum using these failed attempts as ammunition to push Christian suitors, she has to put her own family on a strict information diet.

Your friend should stop updating her family about her marriage search entirely. They do not need to know a single detail about who she is talking to until a man has completely cleared his own family hurdles, stepped forward with his intentions, and the marriage is a certainty.

Lastly, if she does meet a genuinely good man whose parents are just hesitant out of cultural unfamiliarity, the solution is not for the son to argue blindly.

They should involve a respected local Imam or a knowledgeable scholar from the parents' own community. Sometimes, traditional parents will dismiss their son's voice but will listen when an authority figure brings the direct proofs from the Quran and Sunnah, reminding them of the spiritual danger of rejecting a pious woman.

Your friend has shown immense resilience by turning down suitors who do not share her faith, despite the pressure. Keep being the supportive village she needs right now.

Allah knows best.

[Olúwáférànmi Adéyemo, PhD @FeranmiFerary]

Are you excited for tomorrow’s X-space on “Preparing and Applying for the UK Global Talent Visa”?

Meet some of our speakers👇

1️⃣ Jumoke Muritala @Jvmoke: a UK Global Talent Visa recipient in Visual Arts, multidisciplinary visual artist, multi creative, and Business Development Manager whose work explores cultural storytelling, identity, and human connection through face art. She is a member of the British Art Network and a Global Arts and Medicine Fellow, with her work exhibited across the UK, Brazil, and Nigeria.

2️⃣ Dr Abraham Bajona @beewaskaba: a UK Global Talent Visa recipient and material scientist specializing in solid-state characterization of pharmaceutical, food and agrochemical materials. Research areas span from extraction, optimization and structure-function interplay in biomaterials.

3️⃣ Dr Dareen Assaf @assafdareen: a UK Global Visa recipient and Researcher with a focus on equity and inclusion in higher education, migration, and gender. Also working at SAVTE, a Sheffield charity supporting refugees and asylum seekers. She is also a UK Young Academy Fellow.

4️⃣ Dr Chuks Oko-Otu @oko_chukwuemeka: a UK Global Talent Visa recipient and Visiting Research Fellow at Oxford University. Holds a PhD in Modern War Studies, an MSc in International Conflict Analysis with Distinction and BA in History (first Class).

Don’t miss out👌

[whispers @Saba_cyberX]

@SalfordMe2023 The result aren't surprising but I don't understand people voting Green tbh. They ate into Labour's vote. If the left is devided up to GE, reform would have it so easy.

[whispers @Saba_cyberX]

@FeranmiFerary 1st job offer after PhD offered relocation bonus even though it's just 2hrs from where I stay🤣 had to turn them down because I got a higher rated Uni even though it's less money than the former.

[whispers @Saba_cyberX]

@heysantos_83 Na story farming be the business of the day bayi. No be you get the story but okay

[whispers @Saba_cyberX]

@FeranmiFerary @BritishAcademy_ Congratulations. I just passed my viva as well. Do you mind if I can send you a dm for some insight and advise on the GTV application?

[whispers @Saba_cyberX]

@Connor_LFC8 Easily salah

[whispers @Saba_cyberX]

@nafiumohammad Seems to me like he's the only wise one in the room. What's sultan's business with who INEC chairman is? Or how does INEC affects the Ulama? How does it affects the Muslims they represent?

[whispers @Saba_cyberX]

@_olu_wa_seun Na that Johnson guy bah?

[Reno Omokri @renoomokri]

Presidents of the United States have only visited Nigeria three times: Jimmy Carter in 1978, Bill Clinton in 2000, and George W. Bush in 2003. And each time they visited, the person leading Nigeria was Olusegun Obasanjo.

No matter what you may say about him, he is one of Nigeria's most significant leaders.

He defeated the rebel Republic of Biafra on Thursday, January 15, 1970 and achieved the remarkable feat of capturing their leaders and bringing them to Lagos to declare unconditional surrender.

This is significant as records have now emerged showing that British Prime Minister Harold Wilson had decided that if Biafra were not militarily defeated by Nigeria in 1970, Britain would intervene with a two-state solution.

In essence, Obasanjo saved Nigeria!

Additionally, he was the first Nigerian leader to have a natural term. Balewa was killed, Ironsi was murdered, Gowon was overthrown, and Murtala was assassinated.

He was also the first military ruler in Africa to hand over power to civilians voluntarily.

And he is the most self-documented Nigerian leader, having written at least eleven books that I am aware of, and possibly others that I am not conscious of.

What many Nigerians do not know, and which General Babangida confirmed in his book, A Journey in Service, is that the rank and file of the military did not want General Obasanjo to hand over power. But he did in 1979.

And until he returned twenty years later in 1999, no Nigerian leader had a natural term in office.

Shagari was overthrown, as was Buhari. Babangida was forced to step aside. Shonekan was shoved aside, and Abacha died under still unclear circumstances. And Abdulsalami only spent less than a year before handing over.

Why do I give this account?

As a country, we often wait for our heroes to die before honouring them.

This man ended the Liberian Civil War, restored a democratically elected Fradique de Menezes to power after he was overthrown in 2003, funded the South African liberation movement, ensured that the MPLA became the democratically elected government of Angola as opposed to the Western backed UNITA, aided FRELIMO in their war of independence in Mozambique, nationalised African Petroleum, implemented the Indigenisation Decree that Gowon passed but did not implement, paid off Nigeria's entire debt, made GSM phones and the Internet available to the ordinary person in Nigeris for the first time, hosted the only Commonwealth Heads of Government summit in Nigeria, tactfully diffused the Sharia crisis that could have devastated Nigeria, set up the EFCC and have Nigrria her first systematic anti corruption war.

Mandela did a lot for South Africa, but I am not sure that he did as much for Africa as General and later President Obasanjo did.

A man I greatly admire and whose books I have voraciously read multiple times.

Even if nobody says thank you to you, my house and I appreciate you, Chief Olusegun Matthew Okikiola Ogunboye Aremu Obasanjo, a great son of Nigeria and Africa. An Omoluabi atata!

May God bless you and your household.

Reno Omokri

Gospeller. Deep Thinker. #TableShaker. Ruffler of the Feathers of Obidents. #1 Bestselling author of Facts Versus Fiction: The True Story of the Jonathan Years. Hodophile. Hollywood Magazine Humanitarian of the Year, 2019. Business Insider Influencer of the Year 2022. 21st Most Talked About Person in Africa, 2024.

[whispers @Saba_cyberX]

@abdullahayofel There's design flaw but also drivers are not knowledgeable. The solid white line in the middle means vehicles cannot cross over or change lanes until the broken line further down the road where the 6 lanes merge into 3.

[whispers @Saba_cyberX]

@Coachchair007 @Abbas_bnSanusi It is indeed halal, because the prophet as reported by Umm Hani, may Allah pleased with her, said SAW came to Maakah and he had four braids. The hadith was narrated by Al-tirmidhi and classed as saheeh by Al-albani
However, if it's not customary to your place of residence, don't

[whispers @Saba_cyberX]

@_theladymo Quays

[whispers @Saba_cyberX]

The gravenberch experiment as 6 was fun while it lasted. Now we need a proper HOLDING midfielder. We're far to open and it's a midfield issue.

[Samuel @SamueILFC]

Mohamed Salah, most disrespected player on the planet. Deserves better.

[Neal 🇦🇺 @NealGardner_]

Ok, here goes…

I was recently approached by a PR agency to run a PAID campaign in favour of Dembele’s Ballon d’Or run.

I don’t know who’s funding this, but I think it’s absolutely ridiculous and I had to raise awareness.

[Liverpool News @LFCVine]

Practice makes perfect.🌟

[The Anfield Wrap @TheAnfieldWrap]

Virgil wants Anfield to stay red 🔴

[whispers @Saba_cyberX]

@Anjiee_b Congratulations, is this result for the exam written 2 weeks ago?

[whispers @Saba_cyberX]

@indykaila @NUFC Newcastle only has itself to blame. Could have sold the player and gone all out for Ekitike, but no. Thier arrogant, inflated Carabao Cup-enabled ego wouldn't let them be objective in thier thinking.