Hello Lola, I am a Muslim, and our spiritual tradition has a very deep approach to raising children. I want to share some tips from our scholars that will be beneficial to you regardless of your faith.
First of all, our theology teaches the concept of Fitrah. This means that every child is born with a pure heart. At six years old, she is not a criminal mastermind. She does not have a wicked soul.
If she doesn’t have all these, then what is happening? The truth is that she is just lacking impulse control and testing boundaries. By this, if you look at her as a manipulator, you will fight her. However, if you look at her as a pure soul making mistakes, you will be able to guide her.
Secondly, for every problem anyone faces today, it has been solved in history. The only problem is how to locate them.
A classical scholar named Al-Ghazali wrote about child psychology over 900 years ago in his famous book “Ihya Ulum al-Din.” In his section on disciplining children, he gave a practical rule I want you to adopt going forward.
He advised that parents should never push a child into a corner where they are forced to lie. When you ask a question you already know the answer to, her survival instinct kicks in. She cries and she lies to defend herself because she is scared of you. Stop interrogating her. Just look at her and state the fact. Say, I know you took this, and we are going to return it right now.
Again, another scholar and sociologist Ibn Khaldun addressed this exact behavior in his masterpiece titled: “Al-Muqaddimah.” He warned that when a child is raised with harsh punishment, they learn deceit, trickery, and lying to protect themselves. This is why she is covering her tracks and crying to manipulate you. The fear of a harsh reaction is making her a better liar.
Lola, do not attach a label to her. Do not ever call her a thief. If you attack her identity instead of her action, she will internalize it and grow into that dark label. Tell her the action is wrong but protect her dignity.
Make her return the item. Do not fall for the tears. Hold her hand, walk her back to wherever she took it from, and make her hand it back and apologize. The discomfort of returning a stolen item teaches a much better lesson than beating her will ever do.
Finally, I don’t know if you are a Muslim, but never underestimate the power of your own words. In our faith, we believe the prayer of a parent for a child goes straight to God without any barrier. Pray over her. Pray for her heart to be content and for her character to be straight.
Keep doing this consistently and the habit will break.
Allah knows best.
Don't stop talking about the Epstein files. If this man were Muslim, the whole world would be condemning Islam right now. Because he's Jewish, everyone is silent.
When you get defensive about feedback, you fail twice. You fail to learn today, and you fail to encourage people to keep teaching you tomorrow.
If you can't handle the truth, people stop telling you the truth.
A key to growth is showing that you're coachable.
— Adam Grant
@Qamaludeen@_musaibrahim Funny enough, the idiot didn't snap those pictures. The pictures have been trending for 3yrs now. Their agenda is on another level.
South-east and South-south have faced a lot of gunmen attacks over the years, that led to countless loss of lives, traumas, and the destruction of properties. So do we also blame ISLAM or MUSLIMS for these crimes too?
Let's call a spade a spade.
@Storyofemmy001@el_uthmaan Take out America as the small god you all worship so hard and see how dumb you sound. Call the devil to come and do what? After all the atrocities committed by them. After sponsoring terrorist in Nigeria and other third world countries like Libya, Iran, Iraq..
Haiti is not a communist country,it’s not a narcotic exporting country,it’s not a country that habours or supports terrorism,it’s not a country of ‘particular concern’,it’s not a satellite state for Russia,China or Iran and it’s not an antisemitic country.Its the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere located close to the richest and most powerful country on Earth.Where is the morality of your generosity and power when your friendly neighbor is poor,hungry and wretched?
@rundriveng What's your obsession with people having obsession with Salat. Do you see how dumb you sound? Salat to most Muslims is a spiritual means of communication with one's creator. How is that a problem to your stupidity? Only ignorant people like you see it as an indoctrination.
We could achieve great things as people if only we didn’t think like rats.I wish I really wish I could sit in a room with smart people, resources & the will to execute. This low trust society we’ve created is a chain around everybody’s neck. It holds everyone down.
@DanielRegha Whenever these terrorist attacks happen, it’s no longer about human lives, people start counting how many Christians or Muslims are affected instead. This is so sad! We all know the real issues, yet we keep avoiding the main problem.
Only a coward hides under that religious shit
Islam is the religion while Muslims are those who practice Islam, and in Nigeria, Muslims have been attacked, injured, and KILLED countless times by bandits. Just of recent, bandits have attacked a mosque in Zamfara killing many people, in Katsina over 27 muslims who gathered to pray in Unguwan Mantau suffered the same fate. If Muslims/Islam were the problem, why will they attack their own place of worship that is highly sacred? Now let's leave that aside, the insecurity issue happening in the South-east, South-south, South-west, do we still pin the blame on islamization? When calamity strikes, are the culprits identified as Northeners or Muslims precisely? In truth many of you have sterotyped Northerners are terrorists to the point where any Northerner seen outside their region is suspicious, and then we complain about bigotry. Muslims are suffering the same insecurity challenges as Christians, and the blame is on the govt that couldn't care less. But of course, push an agenda instead of holding your dear leaders accountable.
Make the internet uncomfortable for false rape accusers.
Also make them uncomfortable offline. Hunt them. Find them.
Not only are they intentionally ruining lives, they're ruining the possibility of genuine rape cases getting justice.
Speak and stand against it, LOUDLY.