Survivors of any and all abuse become very good at anticipating the mood of others, looks, actions, all of it in an effort to survive.
Believing that if we can be agreeable, be compliant and loving, do things how they want, that we will be safe.
-Darlene Ouimet
I'm a brain surgeon, and I'm gonna show you how to operate your brain the way it's designed, to help you heal the wounds you’ve been carrying; the ones from childhood, from broken relationships, from things said that can’t be unsaid, and from things done that can’t be undone. This is part two, make sure you watch part one also. Let's scrub in and get it done.
Unhealed Wounds Get Rehearsed, Not Just Remembered
Every time you replay a painful memory in anger or self-pity instead of truth, you’re not just remembering it, you’re practicing it. And practice strengthens whatever pathway you’re using.
Neuroscience nugget: Neurons that fire together wire together. Rehearsing a wound with bitterness deepens the very neural pathway that keeps the pain alive, making the hurt easier to access and harder to escape. Don’t violate the 1st commandment of self-brain surgery (No self-malpractice) by letting neuroplasticity work against you.
Remember the 9th commandment of self-brain surgery (”What I’m doing, I’m getting better at”), and rehearse the healing rather than the hurt.
Self-Brain Surgery Procedure:
Catch yourself the next time you start replaying an old hurt for the hundredth time. Stop mid-rehearsal and say, “I will not practice this pain today.”
Replace it with one true, hopeful thought and hold that instead.
Scripture: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable... think about such things.” Philippians 4:8, NIV
This is self-brain surgery. Hard and holy work.
Follow me to connect neuroscience and scripture every day. Save this to help when you need to heal. Share it with a friend who's hurting.
Click the link in my bio to learn more about Self-Brain Surgery.
Note: this is not medical or mental health advice. See your provider if you're having trouble.
Change can feel threatening to those younger parts of us that have been executing the same survival strategy for decades. Indeed, to them, it is a matter of life or death.
This article explores the psychology of change as part of the healing journey. https://t.co/dzPnyJN6kG