Sweet Child of Thyme

The Patron Saint of not giving a hoot, budding misanthropy, and bamboozling. Master of the didgeridoo. Leader of the ILLAMMAnati.

[Sweet Child of Thyme @Saint_Drewski]

I'd like to thank the studio audience for all the applause, laughs, and dramatic gasps over the years.
#LifeIsButAShow

[Sweet Child of Thyme @Saint_Drewski]

I wish the real world would just stop hassling me.

[Sweet Child of Thyme @Saint_Drewski]

Good morning Sunshine, the Earth says "Fuck off."

[Sweet Child of Thyme @Saint_Drewski]

I feel like the digital age has oversaturated the magic that made April Fool's Day what it is or rather was. #AprilFoolsDay

[Sweet Child of Thyme @Saint_Drewski]

The spice must flow.

[Sweet Child of Thyme @Saint_Drewski]

I just want to watch Looney Tunes and get high.

[Sweet Child of Thyme @Saint_Drewski]

I can't believe I fucking live in Missouri.

[Sweet Child of Thyme @Saint_Drewski]

I just mixed Dr. Pepper and mead and I bet no one has ever done that before.

One quick Google search later proves me wrong.

[Sweet Child of Thyme @Saint_Drewski]

Honey, I don't know how to tell you this, but there is a Chinese family in our bathroom.

[Sweet Child of Thyme @Saint_Drewski]

Think of the fortune blind people save on lightbulbs.

[Sweet Child of Thyme @Saint_Drewski]

Hey Earth, if you are going to get so hot that it is impossible for humans to live, can you do it already? I'm not a pork shoulder that has brined in my own sweat and needs to be slow cooked.

[Sweet Child of Thyme @Saint_Drewski]

The 4 main essential food groups: Beans, Bacon, Whiskey, and Lard.

[Sweet Child of Thyme @Saint_Drewski]

Me: I have Saturday off, I'm going to sleep in.
My brain: Oh, you've gotten up at 4 for the past week, I guess that is when you must wake up today as well.

My brain's a prick.

[Sweet Child of Thyme @Saint_Drewski]

It's scary when it's so hot outside that having my AC set to 80 feels nice.

[Sweet Child of Thyme @Saint_Drewski]

If a vampire bites its tongue, does the tongue turn into a vampire? #showerthoughts

[Sweet Child of Thyme @Saint_Drewski]

Some say revenge is a dish best served cold, I prefer it served sautéed.

[Sweet Child of Thyme @Saint_Drewski]

@Chris_Hab How are you taking the picture with the camera in it? 🤯

[bob saget @bobsaget]

Those in the UK, do you celebrate July 4th because we left?

[Sweet Child of Thyme @Saint_Drewski]

Just learned that in Germany there is a cheese that is covered in mites and yes, they are alive.

[Sweet Child of Thyme @Saint_Drewski]

Fireworks can fuck off.