Samantha Barnes

Be the person your dog thinks you are

[Stephen Curry @StephenCurry30]

Night Night

[inefficient rhubarb snackowski @snackowska]

yes let’s debate whether it’s better to have one hour of sunlight on the way to work or on the way home from work rather than question whether the workday should be so long as to take up all the sunlight on a winter’s day

[Samantha Barnes @SamBarnes219]

The way I just lied and said yes to the Trader Joe’s cashier when she asked if I had a family because of how much food I was buying… but in reality it’s just because I have to buy enough to feed @JoseMosqueda3 lol

[Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @AOC]

The medium is the message.

[Chelsea Handler @chelseahandler]

Texas won’t stop a virus from reproducing but they will sue a woman who doesn’t want to— nice work, men.

[Zach Smith 🤠 @zacatack26]

The FDA just fully approved the Pfizer vaccine. If your excuse to not get it was because “it’s experimental” then looks like you don’t have an excuse anymore

[dana donnelly @danadonnelly]

it’s so fucked up that i went into this pandemic 24 (young, spry, hopeful) and now im 26 (old, brittle boned, writing my last will and testament)

[Ash Perez 🤙🏽 @itsashlyperez]

One day you’re a child and then one day the lyrics to Landslide make sense and you’re crying in a car wash

[Dana Schwartz - on hiatus @DanaSchwartzzz]

If the entire state of California could open up, why couldn't Big? We didn't need to wear masks in public anymore, but why did I feel like he was still wearing one with me?

[trash jones @jzux]

the two worst feelings in the world are not having a job and having a job

[Samantha Barnes @SamBarnes219]

The many attempts @taylahfletch has made trying to put Toby’s gentle leader on. I’d say number 3 is correct.

[MaryCallahan (she/her) @MaryCallahanB]

Newsom declares drought emergency for Sonoma and Mendocino counties https://t.co/WezQb0M81m

[𐚁 @Whxtevxrr]

No way billionaire kylie jenner opened a Go Fund Me for her stylist??? 😭😭 sis how about you GO FUND HIM

[THE SWAG 🥶 @returnofswagnft]

Me: i have a headache

WebMD: and it’ll be your last

[لُجينة 𓆉 @lujainahs]

“I hope this email finds you—“ STOP FINDING MEEEEE

[Mark Ruffalo @MarkRuffalo]

Reconnecting with an old pal. Anyone know where we can get Razzles in Canada?