Kung Fu Sammy

rip xxx

[Kung Fu Sammy @SamEnfield_]

Why wish upon a star when you can pray to the one who created it.

[Ty Hill @cheetah]

Go crazy rashee

[Kung Fu Sammy @SamEnfield_]

Hate when you turn on notifications for a food delivery app to know when your food will arrive.. and then they abuse that privilege and send stupid offers all day long. KNOCK THAT SHIT OFF.

[Kung Fu Sammy @SamEnfield_]

RIP FLAPPY BIRD 🙏🏻

[Kung Fu Sammy @SamEnfield_]

BIRDS ARE CHEATERS

[Kung Fu Sammy @SamEnfield_]

Whatever happened to Kesha? 🥲

[Kung Fu Sammy @SamEnfield_]

How do drivers Ed instructors explain to kids nowadays, where to put their hands on the steering wheel if they don’t know how to read an analog clock..?

[Kung Fu Sammy @SamEnfield_]

Sailboats are a nautical form of nepotism, drifting and grifting off of mother nature‘s influence.

Buy an outboard you nepote

[Kung Fu Sammy @SamEnfield_]

Met someone today that said they were a more gauge lender, which is the weirdest way to say they pierce ears for a living.

[Kung Fu Sammy @SamEnfield_]

Owning one of those really old houses that only has a 2 Number St. address is actually a budget hack; because whenever you have to replace those numbers attached to your house you only have to buy two instead of four

[Kung Fu Sammy @SamEnfield_]

I hate when somebody answers the phone laughing and then doesn’t explain the joke to me that they just heard that was soooo funny

[Kung Fu Sammy @SamEnfield_]

Vote for Pedro

[Kung Fu Sammy @SamEnfield_]

I’m pretty sure I’m lack toes in taller ant.

[Kung Fu Sammy @SamEnfield_]

Your mom goes to college.

And I’m proud of her.

[Kung Fu Sammy @SamEnfield_]

Thank goodness you can’t be POTUS till you’re 35, if we had a president and they called the Gaza Strip skibbidy toilet id lose it.

[Kung Fu Sammy @SamEnfield_]

#dontevergiveup

[Stoolies Clubhouse 🏴‍☠️ @StooliesClub]

Americans will see this and say “Fuck yeah!”

[Kung Fu Sammy @SamEnfield_]

Forgot about the movie Out Cold. What a classic.

[Kung Fu Sammy @SamEnfield_]

Carpe the diem, seize the carp!

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

The most American video you’ll see today

BEAT CANADA 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

[Kung Fu Sammy @SamEnfield_]

The song thats playing in the Mos Eisley cantina is constantly stuck in my head.