Sam

Blah blah blah

[Sam @SamMarroy]

@BenScottStevens Haaland should be duel wielding two broadswords in the middle of all of them

[Sam @SamMarroy]

@skweeds Not Strong Enough by Boygenius sounds so much like Liar that I'm nearly positive Julien Baker (known indie rock fan) was at least subconsciously cribbing from it

[Granite Mtn. @gran1te_mtn]

Why does Stephen Malkmus occupy a higher cultural tier than Doug Martsch?

They are at worst, the same level songwriter, and Martsch is a better guitarist

Martsch’s career spans Built to Spill AND his solo work

Martsch also makes more expansive music (PNW/classic rock lineage)

[Sam @SamMarroy]

@windyinthe509 @Benton_Mike @Alyssacharlston Washington is currently one of only nine states without an income tax, and the others either already have NFL franchises (Texas/Florida/Tennessee/Nevada) or never will (Alaska/Wyoming/New Hampshire/South Dakota). The millionaire tax isn't driving the Seahawks away lol

[reyna cervantes @Jfcdoomblade]

“You’re gonna punch me?”
“Yeah”
“Then you’re gonna in trouble for that”
“Okay”

Followed by this frame is one of the hardest things I’ve seen on the internet this week.

[Dave Feit @FeitCanWrite]

Two things can be true at the same time:

1) I, a middle aged Midwestern white guy, am not the target audience for this halftime show.

2) It's fun to see slices of American culture that I'm not familiar with.

[Patrick The Heelhausen @patricktheheel]

“Gay Liberal Halftime Show” and its just Bad Bunny singing surround by the baddest women on earth throwing ass lmfao

[Sam @SamMarroy]

@LateRoundQB It’s so easy to be funny online and yet I read posts like yours and realize that’s not true for everybody. The kid is only 13 months old, and the story was that he got to spend 30 minutes of *additional* one on one time with him every week by changing his schedule

[Sam @SamMarroy]

@FitzManMSU I know all everyone cares about is fantasy points but one of the reasons he can do this in a fucking playoff game and be at full strength is because they split carries all year. Everyone else on earth seems to know that except for a handful of you morons

[Sam @SamMarroy]

@AJsHoopHype This is from 3 years ago when he was with the Ravens, you think he's taking time away from prep to do zoom interviews detailing his gameplan during NFC championship week? lol

[Sam @SamMarroy]

@N2EJeff @MikeGarafolo @NFLGameDay Stills are completely irrelevant, he’s making the point that Cooks never had full possession, and a still is misleading in this scenario bc you can’t see that the ball is still moving, which it was

[Sam @SamMarroy]

@Krazyitalian69 @NFLonFOX You should take your son out of your profile pic, he's a fuckin goofball

[Sam @SamMarroy]

@FemiAbebefe The funny thing is that one of the only defensive coaches getting a serious look is Jeff Hafley, whose only buffer between going 22-26 as head coach at Boston College is coordinating two seasons of mid Packers defenses lol. Lot of dumb people making decisions out there

[Sam @SamMarroy]

@Ohtanisfallguy Congrats on having the free time to go back and find a post from a month and a half ago to quote tweet

[Sam @SamMarroy]

@Football__49ers @Seahawks Dawg do you know what kind of loser shit it is to respond to another teams account? Either you follow the Seahawks just to make yourself mad or you sought this post out just to respond to it, and both of those are the type of behavior that a therapist needs to hear about

[Sam @SamMarroy]

@MikeDugar @SeattleSports Dudes in here trying to "well, actually" this shit is so funny, I'd love to see one of you in this spot get on the mic and throw your QB under the bus and see how that goes, nothing a locker room full of 54 grown men loves more than knowing their coach who doesn't have their back

[Sam @SamMarroy]

@TigersTruthers @dutchdalton992 @W_B_Rick Who cares, they're 13-0 with wins AT Oregon and vs Ohio State at a neutral site, if you don't think that's a nearly impossible accomplishment at literally one of the three or four historically worst P5 programs you're a silly little child

[Sam @SamMarroy]

@dutchdalton992 @W_B_Rick You're taking a joke post seriously, which is something you should not do, but to the actual point: pretending like getting IU to #1 isn't one of the great coaching jobs in CFB history is insane, they'd never won more than 9 games in program history, and they only did that twice

[evan romano @EvanRomano]

one of the most unbeatable director runs ever

[Rolo Tony @PoorOldRoloTony]

“I miss the adult comedy”
“I miss coming of age films”
“I miss the courtroom drama”
“I miss romantic comedies”
“I miss good Stephen King adaptations”

Chances are, when you say something like that, you’re thinking about a Rob Reiner film.