Sam Uche

Most imporantly A son, brother, and a friend. #ManchesterUnited #JW

[Sam Uche @SamNze91]

@FahadAmirN @abiolamusic_ These are the only businesses that have the waiver of 5M rand, so they are actually correct but using the wrong approach.

[Sam Uche @SamNze91]

@beri_grizou You people can't see that they're creating content for someone or a fan to buy kolu a car? You guys don't even understand this business

[Sam Uche @SamNze91]

@CFC_OBED

[Sam Uche @SamNze91]

@UgwunnaEjikem Beer companies will make their highest sales ever

[Sam Uche @SamNze91]

@Radiantspecie @Madridghost1 I'm telling you band 2 pay up to 25k how come you're talking about “close to band 5”. I don't talk much, look for anyone here and we can place £1000 and I'll legit send a verifiable band 2, 36hrs a week, 26k yearly. If you're so sure it's a lie

[Sam Uche @SamNze91]

@Radiantspecie @Madridghost1 What are you saying? Band 2 right now pays up to 25

[Sam Uche @SamNze91]

Those children are definitely going to do some intensive unpaid labour!

[Itohan 🐘 🌟 💜 supremos baby @itohan_olat]

As a man, what would be your first reaction?

As a woman, well, I don’t know what to say except to ask why?

[Sam Uche @SamNze91]

@Born2rule015 @jon_d_doe Have you heard of the chagoury brothers? This is not the flex you think it it, those guys own half of the profitable estate in Lagos including Tincan island port!

[Sam Uche @SamNze91]

@Idaneko1 @AsakyGRN How does tax concerns amber alert on mobile devices? Don't you receive promotional texts from your network provider? Do they charge you for it? Nawa oh!

[Sam Uche @SamNze91]

@BashirAhmaad 1, 2, 10, 100, 101, 102, 400, 401, 1000…

To organise means to “arrange in a neat and orderly way”

Tell Nigerians what has been orderly in the past few days of your parties show of shame?

[Sam Uche @SamNze91]

@kvng_puskas @Ol0ye That ongoing case also affects wike directly, he was accountant general and releasing money without due process for wike.

[Sam Uche @SamNze91]

@UnkleAyo E be like anger and frustration dey make our speech they incoherent 🤣

[Sam Uche @SamNze91]

@kenkenlewu I appeal to you because of God and your family. This man no dey follow due process oh, when it comes to things like this. He is the wrongest person to do banger tweets with. Make this post no blow up reach him side oh!!!

[Sam Uche @SamNze91]

@Mautiin01 For every Heinz product (mayonnaise, salad cream, ketchup, etc.) consumed in Nigeria, Peter Obi gets a percentage. This started since early 1990s and this is just one of his numerous trades as a Key distributor.

[Sam Uche @SamNze91]

@Wizarab10 I say this all the time, most people know whoever they are marrying into, they only hope to sustain whatever they are benefiting without experiencing the vile part. Like Chinedu will ever believe that Regina was in love with him.

[Sam Uche @SamNze91]

@BashirAhmaad When the same thing was done to GEJ: projects that were almost completed before it was handed over to PMB, where was your voice?

[Sam Uche @SamNze91]

This is where men need to be careful, no matter how strong we are, we need to look for someone we can pour our hearts into, someone we trust. MJ was strong quite alright but he needed meds to make him sleep because they took away his peace.

[𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐝. @SHAD7G_]

Michael Jackson’s general manager Raymone Bain revealed Snoop Dogg once called her while MJ was alive, asking for $1M after seeing complicated reports.

MJ refused.

He wanted the media to think he was “poor” so he could speak freely without being constantly targeted. 😳

[Sam Uche @SamNze91]

@Ogbustanley4 @Oluomoofderby How many guys dey this story?

[Sam Uche @SamNze91]

Administrative annihilation 😩🙌

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

I am the Senior Vice President of Human Resources at Oracle Corporation.

Last Tuesday, I sent an email to 30,000 people at 6 AM.

Yesterday morning, I onboarded 1 person at $950,000 a year.

Both were my responsibility. Both were executed flawlessly.

The email said: "After careful consideration of Oracle's current business needs, we have made the decision to eliminate your role as part of a broader organizational change. As a result, today is your last working day."

I signed it "Oracle Leadership." Not my name. Not the co-CEOs' names. Not anyone's name. Leadership. Leadership is a signature that cannot be fired.

At 6:01 AM, our infrastructure team disabled 30,000 badges. Revoked 30,000 VPN tokens. Locked 30,000 laptops. Wiped 30,000 voicemails. Suspended 30,000 email accounts. By 6:04 AM, 30,000 people were staring at a login screen that would never accept their password again. The email reminded them they were "prohibited from downloading, copying, or retaining any Oracle confidential information."

3 people called the HR hotline before 6:15. 2 asked if the email was real. 1 asked if she could retrieve a photo of her daughter from her desktop. I directed all 3 to the separation portal.

That's data security.

I've managed 11 separation events. This was the cleanest. 30,000 endpoints terminated in under 4 minutes. I sent the email from a template in PeopleSoft called TERM_MASS_COMM_v4. The v4 is important. Version 1 had a paragraph that said "we value your contributions." Version 2 shortened it to a sentence. Version 3 shortened it to "thank you." Version 4 removed it entirely. Legal flagged it in 2024. You cannot say you valued something you are discarding at 6 AM. Liability exposure.

That's risk management.

The co-CEOs approved the plan in 11 minutes. I timed it. I always time approvals. Clay Magouyrk and Mike Sicilia. They received $250 million and $100 million in stock option grants when they took the roles in September. They asked about the WARN Act filing timeline. They asked about the restructuring charge projection. They did not ask how the employees would be notified. They did not ask when.

That's executive alignment.

In January, TD Cowen published an analyst note. It said cutting 20,000 to 30,000 employees would generate $8 to $10 billion in incremental free cash flow. We needed that cash. Our AI data center capital expenditures are projected at $50 billion this fiscal year. We had a $20 billion shortfall.

The 30,000 people were the shortfall.

I don't call it that in the board deck. Slide 14 has a waterfall chart. The left column is labeled "Current Headcount Cost." The right column is labeled "Redeployable Capital." The 30,000 people are the bridge between the 2 columns. They are a blue arrow. Calibri 11pt.

That's strategic planning.

1 day before the email, on Monday, our 5-year credit default swaps hit 198.6 basis points. That is the highest level in Oracle's history. Higher than December 2008. Higher than the financial crisis itself. The market is pricing our debt at levels not seen since Lehman Brothers still had a lobby. We carry $124.7 billion in debt on the books. We added $39 billion in 9 months. Our trailing free cash flow is negative $24.74 billion.

I included this in the board deck on slide 3. Nobody discusses slide 3. Slide 3 is where we put the things that are true.

That's transparency.

By Thursday, the H-1B data reached the press. 3,126 petitions. We filed them while scheduling the separation event. Same department. Same quarter. Same PeopleSoft instance. The termination workflow is TERM_MASS_COMM_v4. The visa sponsorship workflow is ONBOARD_H1B_STD. They share a database. They share a help desk queue. They share a budget line.

1 workflow removes 30,000 people who built the cloud infrastructure. The other sponsors 3,000 replacements to continue building it. I manage both workflows from the same standing desk.

That's human resources.

An employee posted on Blind that it was "a slap in the face." I know which employee. We have analytics on Blind. Sentiment tracking, attribution modeling, post velocity. His post received 4,200 upvotes in 12 hours. I flagged it for Corporate Communications. Communications sent me a thumbs-up emoji. Nobody drafted a response.

That's stakeholder management.

Yesterday morning, Hilary Maxson started as our new Chief Financial Officer. Base salary: $950,000. Annual performance bonus target: $2.5 million. Equity package: $26 million — $20.8 million time-based, $5.2 million performance-based, vesting over 4 years. We are also covering up to $250,000 in relocation expenses. Her offer letter is 7 pages. The separation notice I sent 30,000 people is 4 paragraphs.

I managed both documents. The compensation committee approved her package on the same call where we reviewed the $2.1 billion restructuring charge. We have recorded $982 million of that charge so far. That is what 30,000 people cost on a balance sheet. The CFO's equity package is 1.2% of the restructuring line. A rounding error. No — less than a rounding error. A rounding error's rounding error.

That's market-competitive compensation.

Our Slack user count dropped from 165,000 to 155,000 in a single day. If you have access to the admin panel, you can watch the number fall in real time. I have access. It drops fast between 6:04 and 6:11 AM. Then it slows. Stragglers. People who hadn't opened their laptops yet. People in Pacific Time who were still sleeping when their career ended. By 7:00 AM, the line flattens. I watched it from my standing desk with a coffee. The line goes down smoothly. No bumps. No steps. Just a slope.

That's attrition analytics.

In Kansas City, I filed WARN notices for 539 people. 85 software developers. 43 systems analysts. 39 program managers. In Washington, 491 people. 270 software developers. 46 development managers. These are the people who built Oracle Cloud Infrastructure. We are now spending $50 billion to expand it with different people on ONBOARD_H1B_STD.

The WARN filing lists the separation date as June 1. The email said today is their last working day. The badge stopped working at 6:01 AM. 3 different dates for the same event.

That's compliance.

12,000 of the 30,000 were in India. Bangalore. Hyderabad. Pune. India does not require WARN notices. This is not why 12,000 of them were in India. But it is why nobody has to file anything.

That's jurisdictional planning.

The quarterly earnings call was March 10. 21 days before the email. The co-CEOs announced $553 billion in remaining performance obligations. They said demand for AI infrastructure "continues to exceed supply." The analysts upgraded their estimates. The stock is down 57% from its peak. It was $326 in September. It is $146 today. Larry Ellison's net worth is $188.7 billion. He has not made a public statement about the layoffs.

He has not been asked to.

That's governance.

Trust in the Q4 engagement survey dropped 34 points. I reported it under "Culture Health Metrics." My manager said the numbers were "expected for a rebalancing of this scale." She told me to revisit it next quarter.

I will revisit it next quarter. By then the Slack count will have stabilized. The Blind posts will have cycled off the front page. The ONBOARD_H1B_STD workflows will have completed. The new CFO will have her equity vesting schedule configured in PeopleSoft. And the 30,000 will be on LinkedIn, adding "open to work" above the Oracle logo they can no longer access.

I will be here. At my standing desk. Managing the workflows.

30,000 separation emails sent at 6:00 AM. 3,126 H-1B petitions filed the same quarter. $26 million in equity for the new CFO. $350 million in stock options for the 2 co-CEOs. $188.7 billion in personal wealth for the chairman. $124.7 billion in corporate debt. 198.6 basis points on the credit default swaps — higher than 2008. Negative $24.74 billion in free cash flow. $50 billion in AI capital expenditure.

1 PeopleSoft instance. 2 workflows. Same server.

TERM_MASS_COMM_v4 and ONBOARD_H1B_STD share a database.

That's human resources.

[Sam Uche @SamNze91]

@freshonly_ Be careful, she won't pick you over her son, na trap she dey set