Sam Oslyn

Equal parts bleach and 20 volume. I also read books

[Sam Oslyn @SamOslyn]

Just got called a “long legged f*ggot” (derogatory) was kind of slay

[Sam Oslyn @SamOslyn]

@PatchNavillus You are forbidden to cut the locks

[Sam Oslyn @SamOslyn]

Who needs porn anymore? when I need visual stimulation I just skip through people’s insta stories, the targeted ads have gotten so horny

[Sam Oslyn @SamOslyn]

@murfnotmurphy Aren’t you on the clock? Get back to work

[Sam Oslyn @SamOslyn]

Just made my bf apologize for being mean to me in my dream last night

[Barbra Dook @missladysalad]

What if instead of the United States we had a pizza party????

[Sam Oslyn @SamOslyn]

I was today years old when I learned that Ross Matthews isn’t Cher’s trans son.

[Sam Oslyn @SamOslyn]

Cutting my heat tech into a crop top because a *** never gets cold

[Sam Oslyn @SamOslyn]

Day 533. I fear I shall never recover from Renaissance. Its sound has colored the blood that runs through my veins. Like the antidote to a snake bite, the end of my suffering can only be derived of the very venom that plagues me, aka Beyoncé please drop act mothafuckin 2

[Sam Oslyn @SamOslyn]

One good thing about the way life seems to accelerate the older you get, with meaningless days melting into cursory weeks melting into wasted years, is that it feels like your hair grows faster than it did when you were younger!

[Sam Oslyn @SamOslyn]

@cherubicspice Help

[Sam Oslyn @SamOslyn]

I like to play my switch in public to let people know that I’m not just hot, I’m also uncool

[Sam Oslyn @SamOslyn]

@cherubicspice @ipsssen Bad luck to talk on these rides

[Sam Oslyn @SamOslyn]

My bestie’s future husband just sent me his vows for approval (smart) and my only note was “if you’re going to include a bible verse, then you also have to include a frank ocean verse”

[Sam Oslyn @SamOslyn]

@TyleKurner 🥹🥹🫶🏼

[Sam Oslyn @SamOslyn]

Me texting my boyfriend at 1 am

[Sam Oslyn @SamOslyn]

Just got ice cream with my friends in San Diego and they opted to get it to-go, drive home, and THEN eat it. California is such a deeply fucked up place

[Tom Zohar @TomZohar]

International opera sensation Christine Daaé has parted ways with her manager The Phantom (aka Opera Ghost), Billboard reports

[trash jones @jzux]

summer can’t be over yet. i’m not done looking at men’s beautiful thighs

[🪽 @tinyangelette]

how it feels to like mint chocolate chip ice cream

[Sam Oslyn @SamOslyn]

@TyleKurner Tote bag