Sam Smith

Comedian/Writer
#TheTraitorsNZ #7DaysNZ #TaskmasterNZ
Children's Author: #MilesAndJones - PREORDER NOW!
All views are that of my employers.

[Sam Smith @SamSmithComedy]

Hey! If anyone is still on this, could you please vote for MILES AND JONES in the @Whitcoulls Kids Top50? Thanks, that'd be super swell!

[Alex Burgess @pcuser42]

Hey look it's @SamSmithComedy! (and a bunch of other random people)

[Sam Smith @SamSmithComedy]

@pcuser42 AAAHHHH YUSSS this is my dream!

[Sam Smith @SamSmithComedy]

Uh... no, that's not what I meant.

[Sam Smith @SamSmithComedy]

No more nachos :(

[Sam Smith @SamSmithComedy]

*Something happens that doesn't include a person called Ruth*

ME: Man, that was ruthless.

[Sam Smith @SamSmithComedy]

It's Nov 25th - only 13 months till Xmas!!

[Sam Smith @SamSmithComedy]

A bird in the hand is worth washing your hand.

[Sam Smith @SamSmithComedy]

@treskewl1 But I don't know! That's the problem!

[Sam Smith @SamSmithComedy]

What the hell does #IYKYK mean?

[Sam Smith @SamSmithComedy]

@sooflayed NO! STOP IT!!

[Sam Smith @SamSmithComedy]

Movie Sequel idea:
101,101 Dalmatians.
Same as 101 Dalmatians but just like heaps more dogs and they're everywhere. You can hardly tell what's going on because there are so many goddamn dogs.

[Sam Smith @SamSmithComedy]

Why did Joe Marler dress as a vampire for the final?
#CelebrityTraitors

[Sam Smith @SamSmithComedy]

Zac's All, Foulkes!
#Blackcaps

[Sam Smith @SamSmithComedy]

Welcome back, Wyclef Jean.

[Sam Smith @SamSmithComedy]

A kiwi punk band called the Sucks Pustles

[Sam Smith @SamSmithComedy]

What is the first name of the Jurassic Park character played by New Zealand actor Sam Neill?
#QuestionsThatContainTheAnswer

[Sam Smith @SamSmithComedy]

When Orson Welles died his ashes were chucked down a well.

[Sam Smith @SamSmithComedy]

Thindlerth Lithp

[Sam Smith @SamSmithComedy]

I wrote this book about teeth. Guess that makes me an author-dontist.