Sam Stahl

Mark Wahlberg in a Will Ferrell kind of way

[Em @em_harbaugh2]

Read it all.

[Sam Stahl @SamTotals]

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

[Sam Stahl @SamTotals]

I'M GONNA THROW A PARTY EVERY YEAR ON THE 18TH OF DECEMBER

[s*d @06fordexplorer]

talking to my dad about how i think i made the wrong undergraduate/ career decisions and he goes “everything sucks no matter what you choose to do” which is kind of relieving so thanks for the Monday motivation Richard

[MoonPie @MoonPie]

The steps to eating a MoonPie are the same steps as kissing !

1️⃣ practice in the mirror first

2️⃣ find you a sweet one & ask permission

3️⃣ close your eyes

4️⃣  gotta hold still or you’ll make a mess

5️⃣ ??

6️⃣ oh no alone again

7️⃣ repeat next month

[Sam Stahl @SamTotals]

Happy birthday to me and @BebeRexha

[Sam Stahl @SamTotals]

"Yellow slaps just as hard as green"

[Laurie Garrett @Laurie_Garrett]

Germans know fascism when they see it.
Today the nation's top magazine, Stern, declares @POTUS @realDonaldTrump a Nazi.
Yesterday Chancellor Angela Merkel came to the defense of US Congress "Squad."
https://t.co/JtAvSpZeDN

[Sam Stahl @SamTotals]

The Bretheren of Boltwood @ Allendale, Michigan https://t.co/v8dajl2GZV

[Alex Visser @AVisser15]

Just saw that @BurgerKing has tacos now? That is absurd. They should stick to making what they’re good at—garbage

[Jacob Collier @jacobcollier]

.@DanielCaesar joined me at The Opera House in Toronto for a spontaneous duo rendition of ‘Best Part’.
https://t.co/JZ26zuN4cl

[david @_elvishpresley_]

Spider-Man: hold it right there, Chameleon

Chameleon: how did u know it was me??

Spider-man: ur disguised as Peter Parker

Chameleon: so?

Spider-Man: *starts sweating*

[tom @pilau]

Professor X: what’s your super power?

Me: hindsight

Professor X: that’s not going to help us

Me: yes I see that now

[adrianna @a_demmm]

Can’t believe next week is July, time flies when you work every fucking day

[Sam Stahl @SamTotals]

Just curious to see who else would totally watch a Courage the Cowardly Dog remake on Adult Swim

(P.s. it doesn't actually exist so don't get too excited)

[Sam Stahl @SamTotals]

"You've gotta do your best, and hope for the best"

-Zachary Rakowski

[Sam Stahl @SamTotals]

Hey @JordanPeele great movie; thanks for existing; keep them coming pls n thnx

[Road Dog Karl @HammerFist3]

You ever just be awake

[Road Dog Karl @HammerFist3]

If you drink Sprites you become stronger . The lemon lime flavoring makes you stronger .

[Sam Stahl @SamTotals]

Valentine's day shmalentine's day