Samantha Woodman

actor/comedian/improvisor/happy person/i know random facts about random things

[Samantha Woodman @SamariWoodman]

At mania and the lights are ruining everything #wrestlemania #Wrestlemania35

[Samantha Woodman @SamariWoodman]

I saw a puppy with a cast on its leg taking a shit and I’ve never seen anything cuter 😍🐶💩

[Samantha Woodman @SamariWoodman]

Waiting for the day when a person who has synesthesia can see farts...that’s how it works, right?

[Samantha Woodman @SamariWoodman]

Does anyone actually like Gwyneth Paltrow?

[Samantha Woodman @SamariWoodman]

I wonder if Kavanaugh was drinking so much water because he was hungover...and lying #Kavanaugh #KavanaughFord

[Eddie | fan 🇬🇧 @_Rollins_Utd]

@BeckyLynchWWE @WWE RT if you support Becky Lynch FOREVER

RT if Becky Lynch is YOUR SD Live Women's Champion. 🔝🔥💯

[Mike Birbiglia @birbigs]

It's a commonly known idea in filmmaking that if you accidentally cast someone who isn't quite right or their performance isn't good you can "cut around them in the edit" and then they seem okay.

I watched @FoxNews for 5 minutes today.

That's what they do with the president.

[Samantha Woodman @SamariWoodman]

I need whatever was in that bottle last night that took blood out of Gordon’s jersey for when I drink my wine...#NBAPlayoffs2018

[Samantha Woodman @SamariWoodman]

I’m dying after reading about the serial pooper article done by @washingtonpost...I’m curious if this guy was creating something more artistic then we could have ever envisioned #poopart #superintendentpoop #poop

[Jimmy Kimmel @jimmykimmel]

hilarious. https://t.co/wSHi95ehz8

[Samantha Woodman @SamariWoodman]

Hey if you carry an umbrella, don’t put it up next to people #nasty

[Samantha Woodman @SamariWoodman]

Just got my dog walked by Wag! Thanks so much @WagWalking!

[Samantha Woodman @SamariWoodman]

Just got my dog walked by Wag! Thanks so much @WagWalking!

[Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome]

I’m surprised the NRA was affiliated with car rental companies at all, considering Hertz and Avis enforce tyrannical rules like "age restrictions" and "having a license."

[Samantha Woodman @SamariWoodman]

My dog walker’s last name is Batista, which means my pup is gettin batista bombed every day #blessed #luckypup

[Samantha Woodman @SamariWoodman]

Best part of the doctors this morning was when the nurse went to check my weight. As it was going up she said: I know this isn’t right. #thankyou

[michelle @mxchellea_]

me, alone in my living room dancing to Stir Fry and Lemon #NBAAllStar

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

John McCain is an American hero & one of the bravest fighters I've ever known. Cancer doesn't know what it's up against. Give it hell, John.

[Samantha Woodman @SamariWoodman]

"I was worried it would be like feeding seagulls at the beach" #comey