Main Samay Hoon

Tweets from Dvapar Yug

[Main Samay Hoon @SamayHoon]

Women 1 - what do use to prevent unwanted pregnancies ?
Women 2 - Mala D
Women 3 - copper T
Kunti - Sunscreen

[Main Samay Hoon @SamayHoon]

*Kunti vomitting*
Daasi: Kya hua madam, sunstroke hua hai kya?
Kunti: Raat bhar.

[Main Samay Hoon @SamayHoon]

Interviewer: How do you think the experience in your past job will help you in the fire services.
Sita: Toh ek baar na...

[Main Samay Hoon @SamayHoon]

Q. What did Sita do to avoid identification?
A. Went underground.

[Main Samay Hoon @SamayHoon]

Did Arjun ever have coffee with Karan?

[Main Samay Hoon @SamayHoon]

Hey! That's our song.

[Main Samay Hoon @SamayHoon]

Hey! That's our song.

[Main Samay Hoon @SamayHoon]

Arjun: What horror movie scared you the most?
Abhimanyu: Get Out.

[Main Samay Hoon @SamayHoon]

Nandi: Ae Petle! Petu! Modak-chor! Hathi-ka-bachha!!

Ganesh: Nandi!! Bully mat kar!

[Main Samay Hoon @SamayHoon]

In War,
Arjun: Damn! I'm out of Ammunition.
Krishna: Let's go to Bhishm, he's sleeping on all the ammunition.

[Main Samay Hoon @SamayHoon]

In a cab,
Driver: So where are you from?
Arjun: Sorry, I don't do small talk with drivers. Last time I did it, it went on for 700 verses.

[Main Samay Hoon @SamayHoon]

Step-By-Step Guide To A Pool Party
Step 1
******
Congratulations ! you are now in the pool, Duryodhan.

[Main Samay Hoon @SamayHoon]

Kite Flying in Hastinapur.
Duryodhan: Dusshasan, Kheench-Kheench-Kheench.
Draupadi: Krishna, Dheel-Dheel-Dheel!
#HappyMakarSankranti

[Main Samay Hoon @SamayHoon]

Ganga: I'll come with you only if you don't ask me any questions.
Shantanu: Done. Your place or My place? Dammit!!

[Main Samay Hoon @SamayHoon]

Kite Flying Competition in Hastinapur.
Duryodhan: Dusshasan, Kheench-Kheench-Kheench.
Draupadi: Krishna, Dheel-Dheel-Dheel!

[Main Samay Hoon @SamayHoon]

"Log panchayat bithate hain, main panchayat khadi karti hun" - Draupadi

[Main Samay Hoon @SamayHoon]

*Sanjay narrating*
Karan donates kavach and says "India Share Karega,India Care Karega"
Dhritrashtra: WTF was that
Sanjay:Native Advertising

[Main Samay Hoon @SamayHoon]

Somewhere on the Indian coastline, a family beach is magically turning into a nude beach
Meanwhile in Hastinapur
Dushasan: Damn you Krishna!

[Main Samay Hoon @SamayHoon]

"What do you see Arjun ?"
"I see the i, only the i "
"Alright, Now try this lens"
*Overheard at an eye clinic*

[Main Samay Hoon @SamayHoon]

Draupadi: Arjun darling, let's do role play today.
Arjun: What do you suggest ?
Draupadi: Devar-Bhabhi.
Arjun: FML.

[Main Samay Hoon @SamayHoon]

Gandhari: Darling, what's this i feel?
Dhritrashtra: Got a tattoo in Braille for you.
Gandhari: OMG! What does it say?
Dhritrashtra: Herpes.