Sam

Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin says to the second, It's getting pretty hot in here. The second mufffin goes, WOAH!!! A talking muffin!!

[Sam @Samerekaul24]

@ontherunhappy @Rainmaker1973 Giant goat mouth like it's a fork of forbidden spaghetti.

[Sam @Samerekaul24]

@WaitingOn19 @ianmiles Right? There was more contact between Luke Skywalker's kick and Jabba's henchmen in Return of the Jedi than this kick.

[ShitpostGateway @ShitpostGate]

︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎

[Sam @Samerekaul24]

You know you watch too much @CriticalRole when the @nytimes crossword clue is "Pop-Pop" and you're mad that "Beauregard" doesn't fit.

[Sam @Samerekaul24]

@classiclowlife 🎵Look at this photograph🎵

When your Nickelback cover band's music video doesn't come out like your imagined.

[Sam @Samerekaul24]

Yesterday I accidentally hit the "Close All Tabs" on my phone's internet browser. Years worth of saved tabs gone in an instant. So many hopes, dreams, unfulfilled plans vanished. What am I supposed to do now? Actually do things as I plan them?! THAT'S INSANITY!

[Sam @Samerekaul24]

Inflation impacts on the auto industry.

[Agatha Chocolats @AgathaChocolats]

In six words or fewer, write a story about this photo.
#sixwordstory #WritingCommunity

[Adam Hills @adamhillscomedy]

He's right. You can't write tears. And right now I don't have the words. A brilliant comedian and a lovely man. RIP Sean Lock.

[Sky News Breaking @SkyNewsBreak]

Comedian Sean Lock – best known for panel shows '8 Out Of 10 Cats' and '8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown' as well as sitcom '15 Storeys High' – has died from cancer at the age of 58

[Sam @Samerekaul24]

@ArseQueef Asked if I could try to convince a group of bugbear bounty hunters to a wager over whether they would attack/kindap us. When allowed, I proposed a game of Boulder, Parchment, Shears and tricked the bugbear choosing the wrong option with a sneaky use of the Message cantrip midgame

[Sam @Samerekaul24]

@thedrewpowell said on @bobandtom this morning he's coming back to a show where he had a taco problem...
Is Jack Hurley coming back on @LeverageRedempt ?!?!

[Carl Quintanilla @carlquintanilla]

On Gene Wilder's birthday, we always post the gag reel from "Young Frankenstein" (1974)

A delight.

#RIP

[INVINCIBLE @InvincibleHQ]

Um...Right?

[Sam @Samerekaul24]

@officialDannyT Forgive me, Father Trejo, for I have sinned...

I started #CreedBomb ing friends a while back as joke, but it has made me realize I genuinely like a ton of their songs and now listen to them regularly.

[Sam @Samerekaul24]

@TitusNation that was last year. Now the membrane is a thin leaky plastic grocery bag filled with gasoline. It is unclear which side the gasoline is on at this time.

[INVINCIBLE @InvincibleHQ]

"I hope this email finds you well."

How this email finds me:

[Sam @Samerekaul24]

@CriticalRole Are we not gonna talk about how the Uk'Otoa (~uk'otoa~) lock at the beginning and end had nine eyes on the body?!?!?!?

[Sam Riegel @samriegel]

u k ' o t o a

[Dara Ó Briain @daraobriain]

Me: Finally we emerge, sacrifices made, communities strengthened, disease beaten back. Normality begins to return; with the solemn pride of collective will and effort. Life can resume.

(5 mins passes)

Me: Fuck this fucking traffic.

[Maude Garrett @maudegarrett]

He hits a little different these days... JK 😏

[BossLogic @Bosslogic]

I found a use for the moustache @InvincibleHQ