Sam I Am

average millennial • ☕🍷🍺🥞 enthusiast • lover of cute and funny animal content • amature chef

[Sam I Am @Samijo1357]

If you think you can eat too much breakfast we can't be friends. I had 3rd breakfast today.

No ragrets.

[Sam I Am @Samijo1357]

@Spotify should add a progress bar for audiobook hours used on premium accounts so it's not completely unexpected when you hit your max freebie hours 😮‍💨

[Sam I Am @Samijo1357]

Dr. Strange is the best superhero. I said what I said.

[Sam I Am @Samijo1357]

If I found out anything while dating a Minnesotan, it's that they play family games with ACTUAL money instead of drinks. Fucking psychos

No offense to Minnesotans, you're just a bit off

[Sam I Am @Samijo1357]

I don't think I ever would've known what a bolo tie was in my life if I never watched @ThatsSoRaven

[Sam I Am @Samijo1357]

Watching @stevehowey on Reba re-runs and then watching him in Shameless is really quite the progression. ❤

[Sam I Am @Samijo1357]

@chefnickdigi Homemade pepperoni, jalapeño, pineapple za. 😍The crust was made in my bread maker because heck if I'm spending 10 years kneading it to perfection

[Sam I Am @Samijo1357]

Looked at MGK tickets and Ticket master really be like "you must pay $263 per resale ticket for standing room only. Vomit on your shoes included. Enjoy"

[Sam I Am @Samijo1357]

@Matijoe42 + cheese 🧀

[State Room @StateRoomLax]

That 3rd shot of Rumplemintz

[charlie @chunkbardey]

when i say “i should be there in 5!” i’m almost always using the moral sense of the word ‘should’, not the like probability sense. like yeah being there in 5 minutes would be the right thing, even though it’s not going to happen

[Sam I Am @Samijo1357]

@kaceylombard25 @Norwegian_1026 To be fair, it was a lot of fun until that happened 😂😂

[Sam I Am @Samijo1357]

Why does wine have to have calories

[Kwik Trip @KwikTrip]

See ya next time, @Suns

[Sam I Am @Samijo1357]

anxiety is being too overwhelmed at work to do anything during the day and then deciding at 11pm to clean the kitchen because you had too much to do and couldn't stand it 🙃

[Sam I Am @Samijo1357]

@tannarain I love tweets I can hear

[We’re losing recipes @slimrel__]

9-5’s literally give you no time to collect yourself before you have to go to bed and go back into work the next day

[Sam I Am @Samijo1357]

Took freedom to a whole new level this weekend after dropping my phone in the lake and being digital free for 40+ hours 🇺🇸

[It’s Levels To Thissss @FlawsofCouture]

My problem is NOT that you want to lose weight. It’s that you won’t live your best life UNTIL you lose it.

What a waste of a perfectly good life.

[Sam I Am @Samijo1357]

Do you prefer to have your blinds/curtains closed at night?