Samuel Turner

It's Christmas Season.

Hoorah.

[Samuel Turner @Samlochturner]

@Oreo "____"
Just as it is. Sell the outer chocolate crust of the cookie without the sugary innards.

Contrast this by selling packets of the inner cream only, and you're golden. It's about time people controlled how much "re" they get with their "Oreo."

[Samuel Turner @Samlochturner]

@TheFigen_ Evnika Saadvakass has made the advancement [Getting Wood]

[Samuel Turner @Samlochturner]

@JoAnneHnyc @Skittles That's what happened? Lord! Apologies, I live under about fifty feet of rock.

Yeah, throwing any item on stage is probably not the wisest of actions for a myriad of reasons; I'm surprised it isn't discouraged more so than it already is. Good to see no apparent lasting injury.

[Samuel Turner @Samlochturner]

@RespectfulMemes

[Samuel Turner @Samlochturner]

@polarityperfect Nah, bro, the uniceps are where it's at.

[Samuel Turner @Samlochturner]

@pickover The value of X itself cannot be defined, because my eternal love for it cannot be.

[Samuel Turner @Samlochturner]

@pickover Okay, well it's 100°.

[Samuel Turner @Samlochturner]

@UniversoPic ...Y es por eso que no me siento en el inodoro.

Tengo un inmaduro sentido del humor. Siempre es increíble ver el océano en acción.

[Samuel Turner @Samlochturner]

@LockerRoomLOL I could politely warn that compiling isolated conflicts without providing any context can cause illusory correlation and unwarranted bias, then advise viewers to be cautious.
But this is a meme, so I say the best solution is to remove women from the gene pool. Or just date men!

[Samuel Turner @Samlochturner]

@VGKenjoyer @VibezyRBLX Pretty well balanced; I admire your taste. I personally prefer putting j9 on the bottom, considering its greater hardness as a result of the toasting process provides a better structural foundation to the foodstuff overall, but I trust your judgement on the matter.

[Samuel Turner @Samlochturner]

@VibezyRBLX Some of these:

Pedestrian
Proton
Pelican
Pawn
Pertain
Piston
Pigeon
Perfection
Plain
Plan
Pollen
Probation
Pathogen
Picton
Poison
Potion
Pun
Protein
Proletarian
Palpation
Prediction
Praetorian
Polygon
Paragon
Passion
Paladin
Platoon
Peloton
Pumpkin
Parthenon
Pattern
Preordain

[Samuel Turner @Samlochturner]

I have spent the last three days writing an essay about keyboards, complete with undertones of narcissism, absurdism, and loverlike intimacy.

[Samuel Turner @Samlochturner]

@navvyia Nah, my pfp would just tell me to be online.

[Samuel Turner @Samlochturner]

@SlimJim "MEAT with your eyes closed." Come on, Jim, challenge me a little here!

[Samuel Turner @Samlochturner]

@fuckedupfoods Words cannot describe the horror I felt when I first saw this crime appear on my screen. The pineapple and cheese mixture? Acceptable, sure. But the audacity of leaving the top breadless, exposing one's hands to the full force of the grimy pineapple-cheese innards? That is evil.

[Samuel Turner @Samlochturner]

@SlimJim Slim! I held up my end of the bargain. The ball is in your field, Slim! We both know what I want from you now.

[Samuel Turner @Samlochturner]

Calling your bluff, Slim Shady. Give me your follow, and I'll fill your Twitter feed with bad puns based on your name.

[Slim Jim 🚀 @SlimJim]

🚨 IT’S FOLLOW BACK FRIDAY 🚨

Interact with this tweet for a chance to receive this noti👇👇👇👇👇

[Samuel Turner @Samlochturner]

@SlimJim Okay, Slimmy, I'll bite. Just this once, though.

[Samuel Turner @Samlochturner]

@SlimJim "MEAT with your eyes closed"