My Lyft driver: came to pick me up noticeably on drugs or something, took my refused ride, drove to Chicago, charged me $91 and gave me 1 star
Me: 5 stars
I think I just automatically know if you’re going to be the kind of person that tells me how bad it is for me to use a Q-tip to clean my ears. It’s a gift
Don’t judge me but I just watched Cast Away for the FIRST TIME haha the best line I’ve probably ever heard, “So now I know what I have to do. I have to keep breathing. And tomorrow the sun will rise, and who knows what the tide will bring in.” (Slow clap)
Good luck to my three incredible Duke Football clients @patrickleitten, @HolmbergGunnar, and @elipancol as they take on Charlotte tonight. Can't wait to see these boys ball out tonight! Tune into CBSS at 7pm to catch the game.
The Wolitzer Group is incredibly excited to announce that it will be representing the multi-talented Wide Receiver, Eli Pancol, for NIL representation. Check out some of his other talents on his Tik Tok: https://t.co/Q2pWxvgcRa . Welcome to the family @elipancol! #NIL
Domestic partnerships: mostly interrupting your partner to force them to look at your shared pet. You do this as if it were an emergency. You do this with a raised voice and an unpleasant intensity. Pet looks the same as yesterday and five minutes ago. That doesn’t matter. Look.
If you’re white and scared of the riots, I want us to take that fear as an opportunity to understand and get a tiny taste of the fear African American people face everyday in this country.