Sam Abbasi

I'm scared of ghosts and I really like steak

[Sam Abbasi @SampireDiaries]

@johnjism @TakingoutTrash7 That’s just way too high of a adderall dosage

[Simpsons Quotes @Simpsons_tweets]

"Hello. My name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me."

[Simpsons Quotes @Simpsons_tweets]

"But my mom says I'm cool."

[Sam Abbasi @SampireDiaries]

@NewRockstars @MorbiusMovie Where’s @marinamastros ?!

[Charlie Schneider @AwesomEmergency]

Happy Valentines Day

[Duncan Trussell @duncantrussell]

Just got off the phone with President Putin. He told me that this valentines day the only thing he wants to invade is our hearts. ❤️❤️❤️

[𝓡𝓱𝓮𝓪 𝓝𝓲𝓬𝓸𝓵𝓮 @TheTweetOfRhea]

How come atheists are never possessed by demons?

[Sam Abbasi @SampireDiaries]

@therealDJARi That’s cause you eat mayonnaise 24/7

[Sam Abbasi @SampireDiaries]

@jchick_11 Oooohh cup of joe! Like coffee but Jo cause you a joerdan

[Sam Abbasi @SampireDiaries]

@jchick_11 You’re my friend

[Sam Abbasi @SampireDiaries]

@jchick_11 Grape Jo Ranch

[Sam Abbasi @SampireDiaries]

@jchick_11 Welcome home munchkin

[Sam Abbasi @SampireDiaries]

@jchick_11 You look it too!! Yheahhh!

[Sam Abbasi @SampireDiaries]

I had a dream that @elonmusk was president during #COVID19 and everything was just fine..

Also, he gave every good kid presents on Christmas in a red flying #tesla

[Sam Abbasi @SampireDiaries]

@yungwednesday_ Omg same here

[Sam Abbasi @SampireDiaries]

Why is there a horn thing growing out of my onion #newonionneeded

[Sam Abbasi @SampireDiaries]

Idc about your quarantines I wanna hear your quarandreams!

[Sam Abbasi @SampireDiaries]

@barbiebrookeecc No, no you’re supposed to get inside it