Samuel E P Lindsay 🇦🇺

Husband ~ Father ~ Reformed Evangelical Pastor ~
Amateur Writer & Podcaster ~ Sucker for punishment

[Samuel E P Lindsay 🇦🇺 @SamuelEPLindsay]

Lord have mercy on us, deliver us from evil.

[Mother Grundy @MotherGrundy]

If you are going to have more children than the current TFR you have to face the facts, and let me hold your hand and pet your brow while you hyperventilate, that no one is going to be able to babysit *ALL* of them at the same time for you so that you can ever leave the house solo, or have them leave the house so you can be home alone for ten minutes to do something like think of a new password with 17 characters and sort out the two-factor authentication. Those days are OVER.

In the Year of Our Lord 2026 there are no candidate babysitters who have the physical strength, the acreage, the fleet of vehicles or the metaphysics to safely handle your five, six, seven sweet future Christian Warlords and their Intimidating Sisters.

Not even your parents will volunteer although they will brace themselves in an emergency, but it will have to hit the jackpot combination of somebody haemorrhaging, local raging wildfires and a global recession.

You are on your own, baby. Except that is the problem - you aren’t! They are everywhere. And that’s on purpose and it’s great and you love them, but they are obstructing you from getting the mortgage sorted out and they will be destitute if this continues much longer!

But nobody will babysit! Because who knows how to babysit? What is a baby? You have six? Should have thought of that, Princess!

“It takes a village!” I hear you scream into a pillow but the village turned into more of a sim-city for DINKS who own whippets in little boots. The high street has a kebab shop.

I guess maybe you could ask a DINK and see what happens. Perhaps you could lead them to believe it’s a new kind of Escape Room and they might even pay you to participate.

No, don’t ask a DINK! They will perish in a
Violent Accident and you will make the 7pm news - scrutiny you do not need. Do you need to summon a Faerie Godmother through witchcraft because your own mother is at Pilates? The Lord forbids this and it also sounds dangerous. Who can you ask? Why does no one want this job? Don’t the teen girls want a break from their after school STEM programmes?

The Babysitters Club was a book series in the eighties, back when we geriatric millennial parents were born. Messing with our expectations like Kevin McAllister’s big mansion.

Maybe you are just not thinking of something obvious. Maybe you need to be more creative. What if it’s not a babysitter that you need but something like the clarity of mind that I hear comes with cocaine use, or at least stronger than average coffee, so that you can keep your kids around and discharge your duties, maybe from inside your van while they roller scate in an empty parking lot. You have the internet on your phone dontcha?!

There will be babysitting, one day. We will course correct. Your cheerful and resilient children will be awesome at it. They will dazzle the next generation with their tricks and stories. You will be a wiry and strong grandma who plays Tag and DOMINATES. Your husband will take the all the grandkids camping so that the house is empty and romantic for their mother and father to have a moment to

MAKE MORE BABIES!

[Samuel E P Lindsay 🇦🇺 @SamuelEPLindsay]

I admonish you all, train up a child in the way he should go, because foolishness needs no help taking root.

[Mother Grundy @MotherGrundy]

Cute little babies can grow up to be a cannibals, jihadists, pornographers or Christians!

Stay safe out there, folks.

[Samuel E P Lindsay 🇦🇺 @SamuelEPLindsay]

@adamtheduell With NOMAD I'm not sure how hard it would be to filter out certain articles from the offline Wikipedia, though anything is possible with time and skill with this kind of stuff.

[Samuel E P Lindsay 🇦🇺 @SamuelEPLindsay]

You cannot police "hate". Along with things like "love" and "faith" they are matters of the heart & mind. We can only police action, and we can't attach things like "hate" to them without becoming thought police. Hate is often a sin, but it's not a crime.

[Samuel E P Lindsay 🇦🇺 @SamuelEPLindsay]

@HeritageSparks https://t.co/PeumIcYXBp

Put this on a used PC at home.

[Samuel E P Lindsay 🇦🇺 @SamuelEPLindsay]

@adamtheduell 5. Disconnect internet and let the kids explore (still supervised)

[Samuel E P Lindsay 🇦🇺 @SamuelEPLindsay]

@adamtheduell 4. Add other documents or libraries you would like them to access.

https://t.co/PeumIcYXBp

[Samuel E P Lindsay 🇦🇺 @SamuelEPLindsay]

Papers please. Next you'll need papers to move between boroughs.

Waiting for the Grocery Store Unification Plan.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Oh, the irony is too much …

[Scroll Sandwich @ScrollSandwich]

Doug Wilson mogging in the WSJ

@douglaswils
@WSJ

[Samuel E P Lindsay 🇦🇺 @SamuelEPLindsay]

This is absurd. Australian census. I understand wanting to collect the data, but this nonsense should not be treated a a serious matter.

[Samuel E P Lindsay 🇦🇺 @SamuelEPLindsay]

This is amazing. Even aside from their other ambitions, this is amazing engineering: Make a large aircraft fly into space and around the world in about an hour without blowing up!

[SpaceX @SpaceX]

Watch Starship's thirteenth flight test https://t.co/qkYYJiX24h

[Samuel E P Lindsay 🇦🇺 @SamuelEPLindsay]

People: "Billionaires should use their wealth and influence to help people!"

Next minute: "Stop using your wealth and influence to help THOSE people, some people don't like it"

[Samuel E P Lindsay 🇦🇺 @SamuelEPLindsay]

@gavin_of_X @JohnAndersonAC @MelanieLatest It's the noble task of manhood to sacrifice oneself to build and protect our society.

It's well understood that on average women sacrifice their bodies in childbearing and men sacrifice their bodies to build & protect their communities. It's a mutually beneficial arrangement.

[Samuel E P Lindsay 🇦🇺 @SamuelEPLindsay]

It will be worth your while to listen to this in full!

[John Anderson AC @JohnAndersonAC]

@MelanieLatest unpacks how the West's abandonment of its Christian moral foundations has left it dangerously blind and vulnerable to the very different, and more sinister worldviews like Islamism.

[Samuel E P Lindsay 🇦🇺 @SamuelEPLindsay]

@JohnAndersonAC @MelanieLatest I'm almost finished this episode. It has been very good, wide ranging and in some sense a call to the everyman to save the West.

[Samuel E P Lindsay 🇦🇺 @SamuelEPLindsay]

@MotherGrundy Though it must be said that a great many were coerced, and a many have since regretted their choices.
See also: Borimir's redemption.

[Samuel E P Lindsay 🇦🇺 @SamuelEPLindsay]

@Crashman_X Imagine that! Who could have predicted such meddling would have such effects?

[Samuel E P Lindsay 🇦🇺 @SamuelEPLindsay]

"He had to claim miseries, because misery, not work, had become the coin of the realm." Atlas Shrugged - Ayn Rand

[C. R. Wiley @crwiley1962]

Don’t complain, don’t explain, don’t apologize, just build.