Denise

[Denise @SantaBeezy]

I am literally obsessed with Abraham Lincoln #mypresident

[Denise @SantaBeezy]

@SouthwestAir bring back direct flights to Santa Barbara Airport or I’m going to have to start flying @united ….

[Denise @SantaBeezy]

Cecilia: When I was little and I got sick your grandma would shove vaporub down my throat and I would get better.

#mexicanparents

[Denise @SantaBeezy]

Cecilia: Mother Teresa said that you’re put on this earth to help people and if you don’t then you’re useless.

#mexicanparents

[Denise @SantaBeezy]

Cecilia: it’s just annoying because I HAVE to accept you guys for who you are…

(my mom talking about her 3 children)

#mexicanparents

[Denise @SantaBeezy]

Cecilia:There are so many ways to make money in Mexico. Once I was a pharmacist and for every prescription I prescribed I got a commission.

I was their top performing pharmacist.

My biggest client was my uncle. There was always something wrong with that guy.

#mexicanparents

[Denise @SantaBeezy]

Devin gives my dad a thumbs down*

Guillermo: Is that a gang sign ?

#mexicanparents

[Denise @SantaBeezy]

@Akilo Amen.

[Denise @SantaBeezy]

Guillermo: I email a lot

Me: Really? With who?

Guillermo: Your mom, my boss, my co workers, the guy fixing my truck.

Cecilia: He means text. Guillermo, text and email aren’t the same.

Guillermo: Oh. So what’s an email?

#mexicanparents

[Denise @SantaBeezy]

11 year old nephew:

“My mom won’t let me have any sweets because I lied about putting on deodorant when I went to the park.”

[Denise @SantaBeezy]

*my parents sitting across from me. whispering.making direct eye contact with me. trying not to smirk.

Me: What?

Guillermo and Cecilia: Oh. We’re just talking about your weight.

Me: I’m pregnant ….

Guillermo and Cecilia: (silence)

#mexicanparents

[Denise @SantaBeezy]

Cecilia: Do you think there’s really a city of zombies in Philadelphia?

Michael (white husband): I have not heard that.

Cecilia: You should look into it.

#mexicanparents

[Denise @SantaBeezy]

No one:

My mom: Next time you go to Mexico make sure you don’t get interviewed by the news. But if you do, make sure you don’t say anything bad about Mexico. We hate that.

#mexicanparents

[Denise @SantaBeezy]

Cecilia: who’s that?

Me: that’s Taylor Swift

Cecilia: o I thought that was Meah

*Meah is my 10 year old brown niece

#mexicanparents

[Denise @SantaBeezy]

My brother in a nutshell …

[Denise @SantaBeezy]

Are armadillos and rollie pollies related in any way?

@Discovery

[Denise @SantaBeezy]

toddler sleep training should be used as a torture tactic for terrorist @USArmy @USMC

[Denise @SantaBeezy]

Sometimes my dog has the urge to go out at like 2am and my husband refuses to let her out because he thinks she just wants to bark and I have to lay there and build up the courage to let him know she probably actually needs to go out because I gave her 7 meatballs that day ….

[Denise @SantaBeezy]

Most people don’t want to be tracked by the government. Not me. Please track me. Know where I’m going. Know who I’m with. Alert someone if something seems off!

[Denise @SantaBeezy]

I beg of you. Please don’t let me in on any secrets. I will crack or even worse, I will forget it’s a secret. I was not built for this. Keep your secrets to yourself. Let me live in peace. Thank you 💕